Road Trip
by PatrickMcKinney
Summary: What happens when the Yugioh cast go on a very long road trip together... Kaiba isn't happy. :) Rated PG for slight language. Expect to see Tristan with a Staple gun. A lot. Just don't ask. My friend Calcifer and I wrote this together.
1. The Trip Commences!

Hello everyone! This is my first attempt at Yugioh fanficton, so bear with me. There are probably millions of these road trips out there, but hey, I decided to write my own. Disclaimer: These characters are not mine. If they were mine, would I be here? No. Seto: Calm down, it's not my fault you don't own me. Me: *sniff* Here we go. On with the story. **************************************************************************** *********************** Road Trip  
  
"As a result of the terrorist scare three days ago, all planes and private air crafts will be banned from the air for at least three months. Effects are."  
  
Seto Kaiba shut off the radio and sighed. How on earth was he going to get to his board meeting in New York now? He rubbed his eyes and glared at his alarm clock which was insisting he go to school. He sighed again, picked up his bag and got into the limo.  
  
"Yugi, Tristan, you wanna come to New York with me?"  
  
"Sure Joey! Who else is coming?"  
  
Kaiba looked up from his invention at the words New York.  
  
"Everyone. Bakura, Tea, and Serenity."  
  
"That's great! When do we leave?"  
  
"Tomorrow!"  
  
Kaiba decided to swallow his pride and walked over to Joey and Yugi. He addressed Joey.  
  
"I couldn't help overhear"  
  
Tristan coughed. "Eavesdropper."  
  
Kaiba glared at him before continuing.  
  
"That you were going to New York. I happen to need transportation there, and I was wondering if I could come." Joey looked surprised and critical.  
  
"I'll pay for my part of the trip if that's what's worrying you."  
  
"Alright Kaiba." Joey looked reluctant. "You can come." **************************************************************************** *********************** The next morning everyone arrived at Joey's house. Kaiba came walking up the Driveway with Mokuba walking behind him.  
  
Joey stared. "Why is Mokuba here?"  
  
Kaiba glared at Joey. "Wheeler, do you think I'm about to leave Mokuba home alone for six weeks? No." He glared at Joey as if dareing him to say otherwise.  
  
"Fine. Mokuba comes too."  
  
Kaiba looked at everyone. "I'm sitting in the front." Then he added as an afterthought, "Who's driving?"  
  
Joey grinned maliciously. "Me."  
  
"On second thought, I don't want to sit in the front."  
  
Joey gave Kaiba another malicious look. "Well Kaiba, It's either me in the front, or Tristan in the back with the staple gun."  
  
Kaiba gave Tristan a sideways glance. Tristan smiled maliciously and stroked his staple gun. Kaiba rolled his eyes, picked up his suitcase and got in the front.  
  
"Can I sit in the very back? I like seats that face backwards."  
  
Serenity smiled at Mokuba. "Of course you can. He can, right Joey?"  
  
Joey smiled at his little sister. "I guess so. But I'm deciding the rest of the seating arrangements. Alright. Kaiba is sitting in the front. Yugi Tea and Tristan are sitting in the middle seats. Serenity, Mokuba and Bakura are sitting in the very back."  
  
Serenity looked upset. "But Joey! Can't I sit with Tristan?"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"But Joey!" Serenity and Tristan both looked at Joey pleadingly.  
  
"No buts! It's Final." **************************************************************************** *********************** "Joey! Watch were you're going!" Tea shouted from the back.  
  
Joey rolled his eyes and muttered darkly about backseat driving. Kaiba had given up trying to work on his laptop. It was too chaotic in the van. "I swear Wheeler, If you crash and my brother gets hurt, I will personally kill you."  
  
"Calm down Kaiba, I know what I'm doing!" To himself, Joey thought, "Now, which one is the break and and which is the accelerator?..."  
  
Joey turned around. "Tristan, stop waving that staple gun around!"  
  
Tea screamed. "JOEY! Watch the road!"  
  
"Jesus, sorry!"  
  
Kaiba noticed that they weren't going the right way. "Umm Wheeler, if you continue this way, you'll end up in Texas."  
  
Joey smiled. "Exactly. We aren't going to New York directly."  
  
Kaiba stared at him. "What did you just say?"  
  
"You heard me."  
  
Kaiba blinked. "Where else are we going?"  
  
"Oh, Louisiana, Michigan, maybe Canada for a day and then New York."  
  
Kaiba blinked again. He sighed and realized there was nothing he could do about this. He brought out a palm-pilot and handed it back to Mokuba.  
  
"Mokuba do your homework."  
  
"Seto, do I have to?" He turned his cuteness level on to the highest level.  
  
But Kaiba was adamant. "Yes you do. You will be way behind if you don't."  
  
"Hey Tristan, Pass the chips."  
  
Tea looked at Joey incredulously. "You've had three bags already!"  
  
"So?"  
  
Kaiba rolled his eyes and went back to his work. Suddenly N'sync blared out of the radio. Kaiba jumped a foot in the air. "What the.!"  
  
Joey was singing very loudly along with Tristan and the radio. Basically everyone in the car joined in. Kaiba was completely appalled.  
  
"Wheeler! Turn that down!"  
  
Joey just laughed and turned it up higher and rolled down all the windows. Kaiba put his head in his hands. This was going to be a very long ride.  
  
**************************************************************************** ***********************  
  
Everyone was at the gas station, waiting for Tristan and Joey to come out with the food. They came out three minutes later, carrying enough snacks to feed an army. Kaiba rolled his eyes and thought, "Thank god they aren't using my money." Suddenly, Kaiba noticed they were carrying chocolate and coffee. He walked over to Joey.  
  
"Umm Wheeler, you're not planning on giving any caffeine to my little brother, are you?"  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because Mokuba gets hyper beyond all reason when he gets sugar and caffeine."  
  
"He can't get that hyper. Don't worry Kaiba; a little sugar won't hurt him."  
  
"Don't say I didn't warn you."  
  
**************************************************************************** ***********************  
  
"Kaiba! Why didn't you warn me about this!"  
  
"I did Wheeler! You just didn't listen!"  
  
Joey was stunned. How could a kid get this hyper? Mokuba was bouncing up and down in the back and chattering away to Bakura about 20 words per second. Now and then he would stop for breath, giving Bakura enough time to say, "Ummm, right then," and then start talking again. Kaiba was laughing at Bakura's obvious discomfort and Joey's confusion. Joey turned to Kaiba. "Please! Make him stop! Do something! He's driving us mad!"  
  
Yugi leaned over and whispered in Tristan's ear. "How can Kaiba live with this?! He gestured towards the hyperactive Mokuba.  
  
Kaiba laughed again. "Why should I do something? I can stand it, though barely, and it aggravates you, so how bad can it be?"  
  
Joey looked pleadingly at Kaiba. Kaiba sighed and pulled something out of his pocket.  
  
"There's nothing I can do to make it go away, but I can keep him quiet. I learned this when he and three of his friends ate sugar non-stop. I had four ten year olds bouncing around my house. It wasn't pleasant."  
  
Joey shuddered. Kaiba leaned back and handed a mini play station to Mokuba. Immediately, Mokuba became quiet and started playing the game. He was still bouncing, but quietly. Kaiba smiled. Joey and everyone else excluding Kaiba sighed with relief.  
  
"Joey, what did you feed that kid?" Tristan asked incredulously.  
  
"Not much, just some chocolate, coffee and pixie sticks."  
  
Kaiba raised his eyebrows. "How much of each?"  
  
"Umm, let's see, 10 pixie sticks, 5 chocolate bars, and 2 cups of coffee."  
  
Kaiba looked at Joey and grinned maliciously. "He won't calm down until tomorrow noon. You know, that play station will only keep him occupied for so long."  
  
Joey looked at the bouncing Mokuba in horror. "I've created a monster."  
  
Kaiba laughed again. "Mokuba doesn't react favorably to sugar. And he doesn't have the tired period afterwards. Kaiba's always react this way to sugar."  
  
Joey raised one eyebrow. "All Kaibas?"  
  
"Yes Wheeler, that includes me. You might have noticed I ate no sugar. I can stand a little bit of caffeine but not sugar."  
  
Joey had an idea.  
  
**************************************************************************** ***********************  
  
"Alright, do it now!"  
  
Joey and Tristan were bent over Kaiba's morning coffee as he went to get some water for Mokuba, who was still bouncing even though a day had passed. They poured packet after packet of sugar into the large cup of black coffee. Joey laughed evilly. He couldn't wait until Kaiba was hyper.  
  
"Pour some more in Tristan!"  
  
"He's coming!"  
  
They quickly put the lid on his coffee and jumped back in their seats. Kaiba got in the front, handed Mokuba his water, and picked up his laptop and started working again. As they drove, Kaiba drank the entirety of his coffee, so absorbed in his work that he didn't notice his coffee was unnaturally sweet.  
  
**************************************************************************** ***********************  
  
Kaiba noticed something was wrong about an hour later. He couldn't stop tapping his foot. He had boundless energy, something he hadn't had for a very long time, due to late nights working. He looked at the bottom of his coffee cup and saw a little bit of sugar at the bottom. He hadn't put any sugar in his coffee.  
  
"Wheeler! What in Ra's name did you do to my coffee?!"  
  
Joey laughed. "I had to test out my theory Kaiba." Kaiba glared at Joey.  
  
"Damn your theory! How much sugar did you put in!?"  
  
"Oh, just 25 packets."  
  
Kaiba glared at Joey. "I really hate you Wheeler. You do know that?"  
  
Five minutes later Kaiba was bouncing up and down slightly in his seat. He looked like he was restraining himself. He was shaking slightly from the effects of the sugar. He was still glaring at Joey. Joey looked uncomfortable. He finally looked at Kaiba.  
  
"Will you stop glaring at me?!"  
  
"Why should I?"  
  
"Because I said so."  
  
"I'm contemplating whether to kill you or let Mokuba talk to you."  
  
Joey looked horrified at the second suggestion. "No! Kill me but don't let him near me!"  
  
Mokuba and Serenity were talking to Bakura who seemed thoroughly worn out by the two hyper kids. Bakura kept pleading to switch seats with someone.  
  
"Fine. Bakura, you can switch with Yugi. All the hyper people can sit in the back." He glanced at Kaiba. "Except for Kaiba."  
  
Yugi was indeed hyper. He had eaten lots of sugar and was now talking to Tristan in a very high voice and bouncing up and down. Joey pulled over and they changed seats.  
  
"Hey Joey can I drive?" Tristan looked hopeful.  
  
"And can I sit in the front?"  
  
"No Serenity, you cannot sit in the front."  
  
"Can I?"  
  
"Sure, Tea, I guess." Joey agreed to this and forced Kaiba to move into the back.  
  
Mokuba and Serenity were whispering in the back. Mokuba laughed. They both shook hands and leaned forward.  
  
"Got ya!" Mokuba and Serenity both had leaned forward and tickled their siblings.  
  
"Ha-ha Serenity! Ha-ha Stop it!"  
  
Kaiba was smiling and trying to escape Mokuba. Suddenly he laughed out loud, causing everyone except Mokuba to jump. No one in the van except Mokuba had ever heard Kaiba truly laugh. He started giggling and tickling Mokuba back. Mokuba tickled Serenity, who tickled Joey, who tickled Mokuba and Serenity, who tickled Kaiba and Bakura. Kaiba laughed and laughed and long after they had stopped and collapsed laughing.  
  
Meanwhile in the front, Tristan was having trouble. He couldn't get over the shock of Kaiba actually laughing. This was not an evil laugh like the usual ones he heard. This was a normal laugh.  
  
"Tristan! Watch the road!"  
  
"Tea, I know what I'm doing!" To himself he thought, "Now, which one's the break, and which one's the accelerator?"  
  
**************************************************************************** ***********************  
  
"I cannot believe I just got in a tickle fight with you."  
  
"Jinx!" Mokuba yelled. Kaiba and Joey glared at each other and ignored him.  
  
Bakura was now thoroughly hyper and talked rapidly with Serenity and Mokuba. Kaiba and Joey continued to glare at each other.  
  
"We'll just pretend that didn't happen, alright Wheeler?"  
  
"Exactly."  
  
They went back to staring out the window. Tristan pulled over.  
  
"Joey can you drive? Tea's backseat driving is driving me nuts!"  
  
"I dunno, Tristan, I'm sorta tired."  
  
"I'll drive then." Everyone looked incredulously at Kaiba.  
  
"You can't drive."  
  
"I just got my license."  
  
"Fine then."  
  
Kaiba switched seats with Tristan.  
  
**************************************************************************** ***********************  
  
"Kaiba! Watch where you're going!"  
  
"Quiet Gardener! I know what I'm doing! If I can drive a helicopter, I can drive a van!" to himself he thought, "Now, which one's the break, and which one's the accelerator?"  
  
A paper airplane shot into the front, hitting Kaiba in the back of the head. He turned around.  
  
"Who threw that?"  
  
Serenity and Mokuba giggled. Kaiba smiled at Mokuba.  
  
"KAIBA! Watch where your going!"  
  
"Jesus woman! If you don't like my driving, drive yourself!"  
  
"I can't! I'm not sixteen!"  
  
"Thank the lord for that."  
  
"What do you mean by that Seto Kaiba?!"  
  
"You'll drive so slow, that the back up will stretch across states."  
  
Joey and Tristan giggled. Tea turned around.  
  
"You think that's funny Joey!?"  
  
Joey and Tristan stopped giggling. "No ma'm!" they said together.  
  
"Jinx!" Mokuba, Serenity Yugi, and Bakura yelled from the back.  
  
Kaiba laughed. Mokuba never ceased to amuse him. Tristan jumped again.  
  
"Kaiba could you stop doing that?"  
  
Kaiba grinned at Tristan. He chuckled evilly, and laughed again. Tristan jumped.  
  
"Kaiba, stop doing that! You're scaring Tristan!" Joey frowned at Kaiba.  
  
Kaiba chuckled evilly. "My point exactly."  
  
Joey shook his head and went back to his argument with Tristan about his staple gun.  
  
**************************************************************************** ***********************  
  
Joey was driving again. Tea was complaining about Kaiba's driving, so Tea moved back to her original seat and Kaiba sat in the front passenger seat. He was working on his computer, when he started to laugh again.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Jinx!" Mokuba, Serenity, Yugi and Bakura yelled from the back.  
  
Kaiba ignored Joey and Tristan and continued laughing.  
  
"What is it?" Joey asked.  
  
Kaiba ignored them and spoke to Mokuba.  
  
"Mokuba, have you been playing around on the Industrial Illusions webpage again?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Did you happen to see what Pegasus did to it?"  
  
Mokuba laughed. "Yeah!"  
  
Kaiba laughed again. Mokuba explained.  
  
"You see, after the tournament, Pegasus was feeling so depressed he got rid of all the security on his webpage on accident. So anyone could add to the page. And people redecorated it for Valentines Day." Mokuba snickered. "Not very professional, is it?"  
  
Joey looked at the screen. Mokuba had decorated the webpage with hearts and pink writing and pictures of puppy dogs. Joey started to laugh, and everyone joined in. Except Tea.  
  
"I think it's pretty. I don't see what's so funny."  
  
They all stared at her. "You're demented." Joey and Tristan said together.  
  
"Jinx!" Mokuba, Serenity, Yugi, and Bakura yelled from the back.  
  
**************************************************************************** *********************** Tristan was driving again. Tea was in the front, too tired to make any comment about his driving.  
  
Joey and Kaiba were sitting next to each other. Mokuba was asleep on Serenity's shoulder, and she and Yugi were talking quietly with Bakura.  
  
Kaiba was falling asleep. The sugar had worn off. Finally, he fell asleep, right onto Joey's shoulder. Joey nearly jumped out of his seat.  
  
"Uhh, guys. Guys. Could I have some help here?:  
  
Serenity giggled. Tea woke up, watching Joey with interest. Tristan looked in the review mirror, and laughed quietly, to as not to wake Mokuba. Joey looked uncomfortable. Joey tried to push Kaiba away without waking up, but it didn't work. Within seconds, Kaiba sat bolt upright.  
  
"What?" Kaiba looked around. Serenity giggled.  
  
"Did Joey's shoulder make a good pillow Kaiba?" Tristan taunted him.  
  
Kaiba turned very red. "I didn't, did I?"  
  
Serenity nodded. Kaiba turned even redder, if possible and went back to staring very pointedly out the window.  
  
**************************************************************************** *********************** "Ummmm."  
  
Joey had fallen asleep on Kaiba's shoulder. Kaiba looked quite startled and uncomfortable. Kaiba pushed Joey off him and went back to his work. Suddenly, Kaiba swore under his breath, then quickly looked back to make sure Mokuba hadn't woken up.  
  
He quickly got out a power cord, undid his seatbelt and leaned forward enough to he could reach in the front. As he attempted to plug in his computer to the cigarette lighter Tristan stopped abruptly, nearly sending Kaiba through the windshield.  
  
"What the.?" Kaiba looked to see if Mokuba was aright. He was still asleep. He looked back at Tristan.  
  
"Sorry, but a deer jumped out into the road." Kaiba rolled his eyes plugged in his computer, and got back in his seat, making sure he had his seatbelt buckled and that Mokuba's was too.  
  
"Taylor, you're tired. Let me drive." Tristan willingly surrendered the driver's seat and Kaiba, who was used to late nights and was wide awake, took over.  
  
To himself Kaiba thought, "Thank god Gardener's asleep."  
  
**************************************************************************** *********************** "Hey, Tristan!" Joey said from the driver's seat. "Guess what?"  
  
Tristan woke up and mumbled groggily, "You've been turned into a pink bunny rabbit."  
  
"No, I couldn't drive if I had been."  
  
"What then?"  
  
"We're in Texas!"  
  
Tristan really woke up now. "Really?" He turned to the rest of the gang. "Hey you guys!"  
  
Kaiba woke with a start. The rest of them woke up slowly.  
  
"What is it Taylor?"  
  
"We're in Texas!" Tristan said.  
  
As the others expressed their excitement, Kaiba blinked. "That's it?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"You woke me up to tell me I was in Texas?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Kaiba rolled his eyes and immediately went back to sleep.  
  
**************************************************************************** ***********************  
  
"Joseph Wheeler, if you don't watch where you're going..." Tea was being her usual back seat driver.  
  
Tristan was insulting Joey to pass the time. Finally, Joey, without looking at Tristan punched him lightly on the shoulder. Tristan punched him back. They immediately started punching one another. Joey, who was watching the road, didn't watch where he was punching and.  
  
Kaiba woke with a start. He glared at Joey and Tristan. "Who hit me?"  
  
Tristan and Joey pointed at each other. Kaiba rolled his eyes and punched Joey. Joey punched Kaiba back. Tristan punched Joey, who moved, causing Tristan to accidentally punch Kaiba. They immediately started to beat each other up, and Joey had let go of the steering wheel.  
  
"JOEY!"  
  
Joey jumped and turned back to the steering wheel.  
  
Kaiba picked up his empty laptop case and hit Tristan over the head with it, dazing him.  
  
"Much better." he muttered to himself and pulled out his laptop and started working. Joey looked horrified. "Kaiba! What did you do?!"  
  
"I didn't knock him out if that's what you're wondering. He's just dazed. Besides, he's quiet now." Kaiba smirked. "Would you like me to do it again? It was quite enjoyable." Kaiba grinned evilly. Joey turned back to the steering wheel, muttering darkly. **************************************************************************** *********************** Yay! Hope you liked it! I will update as soon as you can. And flamers, beware. *grins maliciously*  
  
Seto:*pulls out sugar water gun* I will personally shoot anyone who flames her. And then hand them over to Malik. *insert evil laugh*  
  
Me: Thank you Seto! *glomp*  
  
Seto: Ack. Can not breath. Meep!  
  
Me: *lets go of Seto* Please! Read and review! Thanks! 


	2. Riiiiight Wheeler Ponies

Hello! I'm back! And here is chapter two! Thank you to all the reviewers! You made me so happy! Nine reviews the day it's up! Fun! YAY! Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh. YAH HAPPY!? Seto: Calm down. Its ok. Me: You do care! *glomp * Seto: *can't breathe* This chapter was written jointly by me and my friend. She says: "Joey rocks!" And now to the people who reviewed: Trunks: Kaiba will get stuck with a bill at some point, and I wont tell you if Kaiba misses his appointment or not, because that would ruin the story! Thanks for reviewing! Maskedmusketeer: The staple gun will return. Tristan promises. It disappears sometimes because it makes Kaiba uncomfortable. I love Bakura: Seto and Joey are not made for each other. Sorry! Besides Seto is mine! Lilagyptian: Joey will not get chased by a bull, but when they get to Louisiana, some one will be chased by an animal. Guaranteed. Steph: Hmmm, a Bakura fic. maybe.  
  
Ok peoples I wont do that too often but I'm bored. Hope everyone likes the chapter! ************************************************************************  
  
"That looks like a good place to stay the night." Teá said looking at the pink hotel that they were passing.  
  
"But..but it's PINK!" Kaiba yelled.  
  
"My point exactly."  
  
Kaiba rolled his eyes and went back to staring out the window.  
  
"What about there?" Tristan said as they passed a place with an all you can eat buffet.  
  
"Yeah!" Bakura and Joey agreed.  
  
"Jinx!" yelled Mokuba, Yugi and Serenity.  
  
"But I want to go to The Hyperactive Kids' Palace!" said Mokuba, eyeing a brightly colored building with a water slide.  
  
"No."  
  
"Okay, I have the steering wheel, I call the shots." Joey said pulling into the hotel Tristan had pointed out. "Heeey, this place looks great! Pool, Cable TV, minibar, and ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET!!!"  
  
"FEEDING FRENZY!" he and Tristan shouted.  
  
"Jinx!" Mokuba and Serenity yelled.  
  
"Oh zip it!" everyone cried.  
  
"Okay Kaiba you get the bags and everyone inside and check in." Joey said. "Why me?"  
  
"Because you are responsible, sort of, and I'm parking the van!"  
  
Kaiba glared at Joey. He turned to the group. "Alright, Joey left me in charge, so Tristan, Bakura and Yugi, you carry the bags. I'll carry my laptop.  
  
"Why doesn't Tea have to carry anything?"  
  
"Because she's a 'lady'."  
  
Kaiba walked into the Hotel and up to the check-in counter.  
  
"Hello, can I help you?" A very pretty girl asked Kaiba from behind the counter.  
  
Tristan came up to the counter. "Of course you can!'" Tristan said, winking flirtatiously at the girl. Kaiba glared at him, and he went back to the bags.  
  
"We need 3 rooms."  
  
"Huh?" Tristan was back. "Who's in the third room?"  
  
"Mokuba and I. The rest of the boys and the dog are in one room, the girls are in another."  
  
He turned back to the girl. "You do take pets, don't you?"  
  
Joey walked up to the counter. "We don't have any pets."  
  
Kaiba looked at Joey and smirked. "Oh, there you are Fido."  
  
Joey made a furious move towards Kaiba, but Tristan stopped him.  
  
"Don't let him get to you, man!"  
  
Joey relented, muttered darkly, and smiled at the girl at the counter, who was looking at them strangely.  
  
"There aren't actually any pets," Joey reassured the girl, and winked flirtatiously. "Unless you count the weasel standing next to me."  
  
Kaiba smirked aain. "At least a weasel is better than a Chihuahua."  
  
Joey glared at him and grabbed his suitcase.  
  
"I am going to change for dinner." He grabbed a room key and went to the elevator. Tristan walked up to the counter again.  
  
"Hey there, sorry we didn't get to finish our conversat-" He was dragged away by Serenity to help carry the bags upstairs.  
  
Joey changed into his fancy white shirt and his fancy jeans, he put on his fancy green jacket and looked in the mirror.  
  
"Ahhh much better." He said to his reflection though he was the only one who could see any difference in what he was wearing.  
  
"Uhhh, didn't you say you were going to change, Joey?" Tristan commented as he carried in Bakura's five suitcases.  
  
"I did. Pretty sharp, eh?" Joey was trying to tame his wild hair with Tristan's comb. Tristan noticed some of the broken teeth on the ground.  
  
"THAT WAS MY COMB!" he yelled.  
  
"Oh, so what? You have fifteen." Joey said to him.  
  
"But they each have a specific purpose!" Tristan yelled.  
  
"Oh God, Tristan get a life that doesn't involve hair!"  
  
"Hmph." Tristan pouted all the way downstairs but perked up when he saw the counter girl coming off her shift. "Heeeeeeeey! How ya doin'?" Tristan said to her smoothing back his hair for no reason.  
  
"Leave her alone Tristan! She isn't interested in you!" Joey said as he casually put his arm around her shoulders. He was sitting on the floor a minute later a lovely bruise on his cheek where she had slapped him. Joey looked up as he heard a laugh that was all too familiar.  
  
"That went well, Wheeler."  
  
Joey groaned. Kaiba was standing at the foot of the stairs, laughing. The counter girl spotted Kaiba and giggled. Tristan got very angry.  
  
"Hey." He trailed off as the girl walked over to Kaiba.  
  
"Hi!" she said in a high, giggly voice  
  
"Uh...hello..." Kaiba said, looking very uncomfortable.  
  
"You're new around here aren't you, cowboy?"  
  
"Umm..yeah. Generally people don't stay in a hotel in their hometown.." The girl giggled and batted her eyelashes at him. "Listen," He looked at her name tag, "Shirley-Joe. Those two morons would prefer your attentions much more than I would.."  
  
"So..where ya from?" she said ignoring his comment. Kaiba began edging away.  
  
"Umm you know I really should get to dinner..." Joey and Tristan were looking outraged and amused at his predicament.  
  
"Hey! Is 'Shirley-Joe' a NAME?" asked Joey while massaging his cheek where she had hit him.  
  
"Yes." said the girl, and she glared at him.  
  
"Okay. No argument here!" he said backing away into the dining room.  
  
"Yeah." said Tristan backing away also. "See you Kaiba!"  
  
Kaiba looked around desperately. "Ummm, hey is that your manager?" She looked around quickly. "Where?"  
  
"I thought I saw him walk into that room. I think he's looking for you."  
  
Shirley-Joe walked into the room and Kaiba sprinted for the dining room.  
  
As Kaiba found everyone at the table, (it wasn't hard, it was the loudest table in the place), he was annoyed to see Joey and Tristan do a reenactment of his conversation with Shirley-Joe. As Joey was pretending to be him edging away from Tristan who was pretending to be the girl, the table went deadly quiet, except for the two boys. Kaiba folded his arms and stood behind Joey who hadn't noticed him yet.  
  
"It was really funny you guys and- Hey? What's up with you people?" Kaiba coughed behind him. Joey leapt three feet in the air, giving a terrified yelp. "KAIBA! Don't do that!"  
  
"Yeah it was pretty funny Joey, and it was pretty funny when she sent you flying."  
  
"Huh?!" everyone said while Joey blushed crimson and muttered something about how it was nothing.  
  
"What happened to your cheek, big brother?" Serenity asked.  
  
"Uhh just a misunderstanding that's all." Joey mumbled. "Ummmm gotta go ummmmm place our orders.." He got up and started to run away but Kaiba grabbed the back of his jacket.  
  
"This is a buffet, Wheeler. You don't place orders."  
  
"Ummmmmmm yeah. Right."  
  
"Joey just had a run in with Shirley-Joe. Courting a girl is obviously different in Texas than in New York, eh, Joey?"  
  
Joey blushed. Kaiba laughed. "Go on Joey. Tell them what happened with Shirley Joe." He pushed Joey back into his seat.  
  
"Well. you see I was just telling her about ponies and uhhh I don't think she likes ponies and uhhhhhhhhhhh."  
  
"Riiiiiiight, Wheeler. Ponies."  
  
"Well, actually it is all Tristan's fault! He was being rude and she thought I was him and..."  
  
Kaiba laughed evilly, making everyone in earshot jump.  
  
"Oh yes, Taylor, why don't you tell your part. Why don't you tell Wheeler's part too, as he seems to be even more inarticulate than usual today."  
  
Tristan blushed. "Ummm, you see, I was."  
  
"Flirting." Kaiba supplied.  
  
Serenity gasped and slapped Tristan.  
  
"Tristan! How could you!?" She cried. Joey smiled to himself. HAH! Their relationship was torn asunder. YES YES YES!!!!!!  
  
"I'm sorry, Serenity. Will you forgive me?" "NO she wont! It was terrible, Serenity! Obviously he doesn't truly care about you!" Joey said.  
  
Kaiba laughed, causing Tristan to jump. "Right, Wheeler. Lets just forget the fact that you were doing the same thing."  
  
"But I don't have anyone so it was okay!"  
  
"Of course, Tristan. I forgive you."  
  
"WHAT?!" Joey yelled, "Darn it!"  
  
"Wait, Joey? Did that girl hit you?" Serenity asked.  
  
"Ummm, yeah."  
  
Serenity got up from the table and walked out of the room. A shriek was heard a few minutes later, and Serenity walked back into the room. Joey stared at her. "Serenity, what did you do?!"  
  
"Ummmm just taught her a little lesson about hitting a Wheeler."  
  
"Serenity! How many times must I tell you this: I FIGHT MY OWN BATTLES!"  
  
"But Joey! You couldn't hit her! She's a girl!" Serenity pointed out.  
  
"Yeah that is why I didn't hit her!" He said, sounding very exasperated. "You do this every time! First it was Lisa in first grade and then Sue...."  
  
"Joey, no need to list all the times you have messed up." Tristan commented. "We know you could never talk to a girl!"  
  
"That isn't how it is!" Joey yelled "I am great with girls! I can talk to them and everything."  
  
"Really, Joseph?!" said a familiar, sarcastic voice.  
  
"Duh......um um um uhhhhh uhhhhh errrrrrrrr uhhhhhhh"  
  
"MAI?! What are you doing here?!" Yugi asked.  
  
"I was on my way to Louisiana for Mardi Gras and my two-timing friends left at four in the morning without me! They knew I would never get up that early! They did it on purpose!"  
  
"ERRRR umm uhhhhhhh" Joey was still trying to say something.  
  
"What Joey means is: Hello, Mai! Nice to see you."  
  
"NO I DON'T! What I am trying to say is: Hi, Mai! Great to see you!"  
  
Kaiba was staring at Mai with disgust. She turned and saw him.  
  
"And who are you might I ask?" Kaiba asked.  
  
"Mai Valentine, Duelist Extraordinaire."  
  
"Ah. I guessed as much." Kaiba rolled his eyes.  
  
"Who are you?"  
  
"Seto Kaiba."  
  
"Yeah, very funny. Who are you really?"  
  
Kaiba rolled his eyes. "Seto Kaiba."  
  
"He is!" Mokuba said indignantly.  
  
"Umm Mai?" Tea looked like she was trying not to laugh. "That is Seto Kaiba."  
  
"You're kidding."  
  
Kaiba pulled out his driver's license in response to Mai's questioning look.  
  
"Wow. Can I."  
  
"No I will not duel you."  
  
"You can duel me, Mai!" said Joey who had finally gotten over saying 'ummmmmm'.  
  
"Ohhh yeah, that would be real challenge."  
  
"Hey! I beat you last time!"  
  
"Bet you couldn't do it again!"  
  
"I could!"  
  
"Wheeler beat you? How extraordinary can you be?"  
  
"HEY! You are the one who is scared to duel me!"  
  
"I am not scared. I'll prove it! I challenge you to a duel after dinner.  
  
"WHAT?!" Joey cried. "We aren't going swimming?!"  
  
"It wont take up too much time. About, five minutes. We can go swimming afterwards, Wheeler." ****************************************************************** REVIEW! Please! 


	3. Seto Doesn't Swim

Hello! I'm back! The my friend, who now has a Fanfiction.net account, Calcifer and I, wrote this together! YAY! To all people who have been wondering. Patrick Mckinney and Calcifer are both female. Thus my obsession with Seto and her obsession with Joey.  
  
Replies to reviews! Here they are!  
  
Kyra Windwood: Don't worry, Seto wont lose to Mai. That would be awful!  
  
Calcifer: And to all you reviewers: Thank You! Thank you! You're all gorgeous, and amazing, and...and  
  
PatrickMcKinney: Woah..okay Calcifer...  
  
Calcifer: All you wonderful people that make writing so meaningful...you give my life substance.....  
  
Joey: Ok....is it just me, or is she insane?  
  
Calcifer: I'd like to thank the Academy......  
  
Seto: It isn't just you.......  
  
Calcifer: And the Philharmonic  
  
PM: Huh? What on earth does an orchestra have to do with reviews?  
  
Calcifer: Well........................................................................ ........................  
  
Joey: Ok then.........................  
  
Seto: Yeah............................  
  
Calcifer: I'll find a connection SOMEDAY!  
  
Joey: Suuuuuuure.........  
  
Calcifer: And while we sit here waiting for that amazing day to come: We do not own Yugioh. I wish............  
  
PM: Yeah.  
  
**************************************************************************** ******  
  
Mai was sitting with her mouth open glaring at Kaiba. Kaiba laughed.  
  
"So much for 'Duelist Extraordinaire'."  
  
"Can we please go swimming now?" Joey asked. "It is a thousand degrees in here!"  
  
"Sure, I just got a new bathing suit." Mai said who was still annoyed but had gotten over the shock of being beaten in five turns.  
  
"Great! Last one there is a Beaver Warrior!" Tristan shouted. Joey ran up to the room. He really didn't want to be a Beaver Warrior. Joey changed into his Flame Swordsman print bathing suit and was out the door before Tristan was half way down the hallway.  
  
"Haha! Loser!" He shouted to Bakura who looked at him like he thought Joey was insane. Joey darted up to the diving board and did a flip into the deep end. "Ahhhhhhh. Nice!" Serenity came out next in a kinda skimpy but still very sensible bikini.  
  
"Joey! I can't believe you wouldn't let me buy that purple one!"  
  
"Serenity! It didn't cover ANYTHING!"  
  
"Yes it did, silly."  
  
"Whatever. The answer is: NO!" Tristan came out next and was staring at Serenity, looking awestruck.  
  
Joey darted up to the diving board and did a flip into the deep end. "Ahhhhhhh. Nice!" Serenity came out next in a kinda skimpy but still very sensible bikini.  
  
"Joey! I can't believe you wouldn't let me buy that purple one!"  
  
"Serenity! It didn't cover ANYTHING!"  
  
"Yes it did, silly."  
  
"Whatever. The answer is: NO!" Tristan came out next and was staring at Serenity, looking awestruck.  
  
Kaiba came out and sat on a pool chair.  
  
Joey looked confused. "Hey Kaiba! Where's your bathing suit?"  
  
Kaiba glared at Joey. "I don't swim."  
  
Joey grinned maliciously. "Awww, come on Kaiba, don't be a spoil sport."  
  
Tea and Bakura came out, Tea wearing a sensible pink bikini and Bakura wearing normal blue swim trunks. Suddenly Joey's jaw dropped. Mai had just arrived. Joey was speechless. Kaiba looked away, almost blushing. Tristan's eyebrows went way up.  
  
"See Joey!" Serenity cried. "That bathing suit I wanted to buy does cover something!"  
  
Kaiba rolled his eyes and muttered. "Like what?"  
  
Mai was wearing a very skimpy bikini, the exact one Serenity had wanted.  
  
"Hey Kaiba, why aren't you swimming?" Mai wanted to know.  
  
"I don't swim." Kaiba looked aggravated.  
  
Joey snickered as Tristan crept up behind Kaiba, and suddenly gave his chair an enormous shove, sending Kaiba and the chair into the pool.  
  
Kaiba spluttered, and resurfaced. Joey dunked him under again. Suddenly Kaiba shot to the surface and flipped Joey off of him, and dunked him under. Tristan attempted to help his friend, but only received a dunking in the process. Kaiba got out of the water. Mai giggled. He was soaked. His hair had come out of its point so it was hanging loosely. Kaiba whirled around and glared at Mai.  
  
"I am going to get changed, and as soon as I come back, you are so dead Taylor."  
  
Tristan gulped. As Kaiba walked away, he walked behind Mai and quickly shoved her into the pool.  
  
"HEY!" she spluttered.  
  
Kaiba laughed. "That's what you get for laughing at me."  
  
"Don't worry Mai, I'll save you!" Joey shouted.  
  
Mai looked at him and rolled her eyes. "I don't need saving Joey, I can swim."  
  
Joey looked embarrassed. "Ahh, right. I knew that."  
  
Suddenly, a small person in red swim trunks shot past Kaiba and did a cannon ball off the diving board and into the deep end, nearly landing on Joey.  
  
"Hey! Watch it!" Joey shouted as the splash from Mokuba's cannon ball entered his mouth. Kaiba laughed. He took off his coat and started to wring it out. Mokuba grinned mischievously, and swam to the side.  
  
"Seto?"  
  
"Yeah?" Kaiba took off his shoes and emptied them of water.  
  
"Could you come her for a second? I need to ask you something."  
  
Kaiba walked over to the side of the pool, oblivious to what Mokuba was planning.  
  
"What is it Mokuba?"  
  
"This!" And with that, Mokuba pulled Kaiba back in the pool.  
  
Joey yelled and helped Mokuba dunk Kaiba underwater.  
  
"What are you trying to do? Drown me?" Kaiba yelled, but he was smiling. Mokuba never ceased to amuse him.  
  
"Now will you come swimming Kaiba?" asked Joey mischievously.  
  
Kaiba glared at Joey, and then gave a slight smile. "I suppose I can lose my dignity for once." He dunked Joey underwater and laughed, causing Tristan to jump and splash Mai, who immediately splashed him back.  
  
This started off a huge water fight. Suddenly Kaiba froze and ducked under water. Joey looked around and spotted Shirley Joe. He poked Tristan and they both ducked underwater.  
  
Shirley Joe spotted Kaiba just as he came up for breath and giggled. Kaiba flinched at the giggle and hid under water again.  
  
"Hey there!" she said as Kaiba surfaced again.  
  
"Buzz off!" Shirley Joe jumped and looked in the direction of the yeller. She saw Serenity, and left very quickly.  
  
"Thank God!" said Kaiba. "I thought she'd never leave!"  
  
**************************************************************************** ****** YAY! Review! And as I said before, flamers, beware!  
  
Seto: *laughs evilly*  
  
Joey: If you really want to see some flames, come meet my REBD!  
  
Seto: That's pathetic Wheeler. Really. A BEWD is so much better than that thing.  
  
Me: Be quiet you two.  
  
Joey and Seto: *are quiet* 


	4. In which there is a loss of hair gel, an...

Hello! I'm Back! And here is Another Chapter! Yes! Thank you to everyone who has reviewed!  
  
Seto: I'm making sure she doesn't get sued, so here it is. She does not own Yugioh.  
  
Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Review Replies: Pharaoh's Queen: Thank you for your reviews! I love 'em! Muhaha! Tristan's staple gun is an inside joke with me and Calcifer, a friend of mine. We think Tristan really likes his staple gun. The reason Tea likes pink is I hate pink, and I love to bash Téa. The English dubbed Téa is really terrible. Yuck. And Yugi is the more of an innocent teddy-bearish kawaii character, so I decided to let him get hyper. Shirley-Joe, well, I wanted her to be named Shirley, because I think it's a name that fits her perfectly, and Calcifer wanted it to be a double name like Mary Sue, so We ended up with Shirley-Joe. Don't ask. We don't know.  
  
Jeni Wheeler: Yeah be.  
  
Calcifer: Are you related to Joey?  
  
PM: Be quiet, I'm trying to finish the review response!  
  
Yeah. Be prepared to see Seto+water=funny again. Also Joey+water=funny. MUHAHAH!  
  
Seto: Ok, here's the Chapter!  
  
**************************************************************************** ******  
  
"This is great. Just great."  
  
Everyone was sitting in the car, listening to Joey rant about the unfairness of a car breaking down a half a mile from a gas station. Outside the rain poured down, hitting the windows constantly. The van grew quiet.  
  
"I'll get out and see what's wrong." Tristan sighed. He got out of the car and was immediately soaked. As he looked under the hood, his hair fell into his face.  
  
"Oh, dang." Tristan felt his hair. The rain had washed the gel away. It was out of it's point. Tristan couldn't figure out what was wrong, so he got back in the van, with his coat over his head.  
  
"What's wrong Tristan?" Serenity sounded worried. Joey frowned. He reached over and pulled the coat off Tristan's head. Kaiba exploded in laughter. Tristan frowned.  
  
"It's not that funny." Tristan pouted. Kaiba continued to laugh.  
  
"Aww, Unicorn boy's lost his horn." Joey said jokingly. Tristan glared at him.  
  
"What was wrong with the car Tristan?" Yugi asked.  
  
"I don't know." Tristan pouted.  
  
"I took Auto shop, I'll go see." Joey got out of the car. As he rummaged around in the hood, he couldn't find anything wrong. He straitened up and he realized his hair had come down too.  
  
"Aww, dangit!" Joey reentered the car the same way.  
  
Tristan pulled the Jacket away as revenge, because they all knew what had happened. Kaiba exploded into more gales of laughter. Yugi got out of the car to see if he could figure it out. He came back in a minute later.  
  
"Hey, nothing happened!" Tristan said, disappointed. Yugi's hair hadn't changed one bit. Bakura went outside and came back in, soaked. Everyone looked at Kaiba. He sighed and took one last look at Joey and Tristan's hair before getting out of the car.  
  
Kaiba quickly spotted the problem. As he was fixing it, he realized his hair would do the same thing. "Dang it!" He thought as the rain poured down. Satisfied, he closed the trunk and got in the car. Joey and Tristan exploded with laughter.  
  
"Hey Kaiba, going for the Drowned rat look?"  
  
"Or should we say weasel?" Joey and Tristan laughed.  
  
Kaiba scowled. "Just start the da." He trailed off as he noticed Mokuba. "Dang car." He finished.  
  
Joey, still snickering, turned the key and the car started. Kaiba looked smug.  
  
"So, Wheeler, what was that you said, about taking autoshop?"  
  
Joey scowled. "Shut up Kaiba."  
  
**************************************************************************** ******  
  
"Oh thanks Kaiba, we get a quarter of a mile and it breaks again." The car had broken down once more. Kaiba got out again.  
  
"The rain got into the trunk and short circuited the battery!" Kaiba yelled over the noise of the pelting rain. Joey and Tristan sighed and got out of the car. All three of them went behind the car. Bakura and Yugi finally caught on, and got out as well.  
  
"Alright everyone." Joey shouted over the rain. "On three. One, two, three!"  
  
Everyone pushed the car and it started rolling down the road with the five boys pushing it. They finally got into the gas station and left the van there as they walked to the hotel next to the station.  
  
**************************************************************************** ******  
  
"Joey! Come out! You've been in the bathroom for almost an hour!" Tristan yelled. "I need to do my hair!"  
  
"I'm not leaveing!" joey shouted from behind the door.  
  
"Come on Joey! Your hair can't be that bad!"  
  
"You'd be surprised." Joey said sulkily.  
  
"Move aside Taylor." Kaiba walked briskly over to the bathroom door. "Last chance Wheeler. Get out of that bathroom!"  
  
"NO!" Joey yelled.  
  
Kaiba sighed, bent down to the door knob, and proceeded to pick the lock. There was a click and Kaiba opened the door. Joey attempted to hide under his jacket, but it didn't work. Kaiba exploded in laughter, causing Tristan to jump. Joey's hair was. poufy. Poufy beyond all reason.  
  
"Look who came to visit! The cowardly lion!" he laughed.  
  
Joey glared at Kaiba, grabbed one of Tristan's combs and stormed out of the bathroom. Kaiba fixed his hair, changed into a set of dry clothes and came out of the bathroom. Tristan was staring at him.  
  
"What is it Taylor?" Kaiba said irritably.  
  
"Where did you learn to pick locks?!" Tristan looked very astonished.  
  
Kaiba smirked. "I picked it up. When people have a tendency to lock you in closets, you learn these things." Kaiba swept off, coat billowing behind him. (OOC:Sorry, that last line was just me fantasizing. I love his coat! *hugs Kaiba*)  
  
**************************************************************************** ****** Kaiba was walking towards the door to get back to the gas station to see if they could fix the van, when.  
  
"Hey there!" said a giggly female voice from behind Kaiba. He flinched. He turned around. Shirley-Joe batted her eyelashes at him.  
  
"What the heck are you doing here! I thought Serenity got rid of you!"  
  
She ignored his comment and giggled. "So, are you like, single?"  
  
'Oh Ra, she speaks like a valley girl. She's even more of a Barbie than I thought!' Kaiba thought. "Umm, ah, I really need to be going now."  
  
Joey was walking towards the door, contemplating how he was going to pay the bill to fix the van when hecame around the corner and he saw Kaiba's predicament. Then he had an idea.  
  
"Hey! Shirley-Joe!" he called. She turned around.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Did you know Orlando Bloom is outside signing autographs?"  
  
"LIKE OMIGOSH!" Shirley-Joe screamed. She ran for the opposite exit. Kaiba sighed in relief.  
  
"Thanks Wheeler. I owe you one."  
  
"Well, speaking of owing."  
  
**************************************************************************** ******  
  
"I really hate it when I condemn myself with my own words." Kaiba frowned and looked at the bill for the car. He turned to Joey. "Must I?" Joey nodded. Kaiba sighed, and signed his name at the bottom of the bill and handed the mechanic the money.  
  
"Now we're even." Kaiba walked off, muttering to himself.  
  
**************************************************************************** ****** YAY! Review! Please! Funfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunf unfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfu nfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfun funfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunf unfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfu nfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfun funfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunf unfunfunfunfunfunfunfun!  
  
Seto: ummm, ok. You've been reading the Immortals too much.  
  
Katie: Yeah! Go Leaf! 


	5. Laptop cases and Southern Accents

Hey! I'm Back! And here is the new chapter!  
  
Seto: Umm, you're forgetting something.  
  
PM: What?  
  
Seto: *sigh* Patrick Mckinney does not own Yugioh.  
  
PM: Oh riiiiiiiiight. I do not own Yugioh. Wait. I don't?  
  
Seto: She's in a fantasy world don't disturb her. She definitely doesn't own Yugioh.  
  
PM: Enough! You we have said that THREE times! AAAAAAAHHHHH! *calms down* Enjoy!  
  
Note: This chapter contains many inside jokes, including the one about Pauline. If you think something is non sequitorial and doesn't fit, then live with it k? Also, pretend that Joey and Kaiba and everyone don't think it's weird that we have guy's names k? Just pretend they aren't. **************************************************************************** ******  
  
The Louisiana heat was humid and unbearable as the carload of hyperactive, arguing teens drew into the town. Mai Valentine was fast asleep along with Yugi. Kaiba had a horrendous headache and Mokuba was bouncing up and down.  
  
Kaiba turned around in his seat. "If I hear one more bloody thing about pink bunnies, Gardener." He threatened. But it was useless.  
  
Teá wasn't listening to him because she was way too busy commenting about Joey's driving, and also saying that a pink bunny would do a better job than he would. Joey was fairly insulted.  
  
"TEÁ! I CAN DRIVE!!!!"  
  
"I NEVER KNEW!" she shouted back at him.  
  
Kaiba, who had had enough of this yelling took his empty laptop case and hit Teá over the head with it, dazing her.  
  
Yugi woke up and saw the dazed Teá.  
  
"HEY! What did you do to Teá?!"  
  
"I whacked her over the head with my laptop case. You got a problem with that?"  
  
"Kaiba, Kaiba, Kaiba..You're saying it all wrong!" Joey protested. "You gotta say 'gotta' all one word! Not 'got a' sheesh! And don't make the 'th' sound wit the with! It should be 'wit'! If yah wanna threaten someone at least do it the right way!"  
  
Yami came out of the Millenium puzzle.  
  
"Kaiba." He said in a deep voice. "You need to learn a lesson about friendship."  
  
"What friendship?" Kaiba asked.  
  
"Kaiba! I challenge you to a duel!"  
  
"Aw, shut up." Kaiba said as he hit Yami over the head with his laptop case. Yami fell over, dazed. "KAIBA! What did you do!?"  
  
"Just dazed him. You got a, excuse me you 'gotta problem wit dat?'" Kaiba said, looking pointedly at Joey.  
  
"You learn pretty fast, Kaiba! Though hittin' Yami like that is pretty much actin' like a jerk..Of course you ARE a jerk....."  
  
Kaiba made a threatening gesture towards Joey with his laptop case.  
  
"Hey, I'm driving!" Joey said.  
  
"Then be quiet!" Kaiba yelled.  
  
Yugi who had gotten over his shock of Yami being dazed, turned to face Kaiba.  
  
"Kaiba! I challenge you to a duel as Yami tried to do in his Final Act Of Courage!"  
  
Kaiba rolled his eyes and hit Yugi over the head, dazing him too.  
  
"That's not very ni." Tristan started to say, before being hit over the head as well.  
  
"Can you knock out Mokuba? He's being really." Bakura said, before being dazed himself.  
  
Kaiba settled back into his seat. Joey looked horrified and moved as far away from Kaiba as possible. Joey had a thought. He glared at Kaiba. "If you hit my sister."  
  
"I wouldn't hit Serenity! She's a girl!" Kaiba said.  
  
"Teá was a girl."  
  
"Well, yeah. but she doesn't count."  
  
They were arguing about that fact and not really paying attention to the road when Joey realized that he was about to run over two girls who were walking across the street. He yelled and hit the brake. The two girls looked at the two boys in shock and screamed simultaneously.  
  
"HEY! We aren't STILL running over you." Kaiba called out the window. But the two girls were still screaming, though not really out of pain it seemed.  
  
"JOEY WHEELER!!!!!"  
  
"SETO KAIBA!!!!!!!!" They both screamed. Joey got out of the car to see if they were okay and was bowled over by the taller of the two who was hugging him violently.  
  
"AHHH! She is tryin' to murder me!" Kaiba got out of the car to see what on earth was happening to Joey and was immediately hugged tightly by the shorter girl. Kaiba gasped because she was crushing his lungs. Joey looked amazed that someone was actually hugging him. He seemed very confused.  
  
"IamCalciferthisisPatrickyouareJoey!Iworshipyou!" the girl hugging Joey said very fast. Kaiba looked rather shocked that he was being hugged by a random girl.  
  
"Omigosh!" Patrick shouted as she hugged Kaiba. Then, she realeased him. "O my gosh! Seto Kaiba! You are so cool and tall and and." She blushed as she realized she was rambling. "I mean, Hi."  
  
Calcifer was still babbling to Joey about how much she loved him. Joey was blushing as she praised him and told him her lifelong quest to murder Duke Devlin for he had done to Joey.  
  
Patrick began to tell Kaiba how cool she thought he was, causing him to blush. She also told him about her quest to find him, and kill Pegasus for hurting him, but how she had been thwarted of her revenge by Yami Bakura.  
  
"Ow. My. Head." Yami Bakura said as he woke up. Kaiba and Patrick immediately knocked him out. Serenity came out and looked askance at the girl hugging Joey.  
  
"Um..who are you?"  
  
"SERENTIY! IT IS REALLY YOU! MY GOODNESS THE SISTER OF JOEY WHEELER! ALL WHEELERS ARE PERFECT well, except for your mom and dad.......but anyway! AHHHHHH IT IS SO NICE TO MEET YOU!"  
  
"But who are YOU?" Serenity asked.  
  
"My name is Calcifer, and I love your brother more than anyone else in the world!"  
  
"Um, okay." Serenity said looking confused.  
  
"You DO?!" Joey asked. Calcifer blushed and nodded.  
  
"COOL!"  
  
Kaiba was beginning to like Patrick more and more as she rambled on about Duel monster strategies that included freaking your opponent out. Mokuba suddenly came out of the van to see what the commotion was, and saw Patrick hugging Kaiba.  
  
"Ummm, who are you?" Mokuba asked. Patrick looked down.  
  
"Oh, Patrick this is my little brother."  
  
"Mokuba! Hi!"  
  
Mokuba looked slightly confused. "How do you know my name?"  
  
"I know almost everything about any Kaiba in exsistence, basically you two."  
  
Kaiba looked shocked. "How many points did KaibaCorp go up in the Nasdaq yesterday?"  
  
"20.3 points." She said. Kaiba looked stunned.  
  
"My God. You DO know a lot about me."  
  
"Uh do you know stuff about me?" Joey asked Calcifer.  
  
"Oh yeah.."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Um everything."  
  
"Wow."  
  
"You guys are here for Mardi Gras, right?"  
  
"How did you know that?" teá asked as she came out of the car rubbing her head.  
  
"We know who you are, your purpose in life, the way you will die.......AND...what you ate for breakfast! Muahaha!"  
  
Patrick wrinkled her nose. "Yuck, Slimfast?"  
  
Teá ran away screaming. Kaiba looked at Patrick almost in awe. What type of power did these girls have, being all knowing AND being able to scare AND bash Teá.  
  
"I am hungry." Joey commented.  
  
"NEVER FEAR DARLIN'!" Calcifer said in a strange southern accent (courtesy of Pauline) "I'LL GET YAH SOME CHOW!" Joey looked very afraid. "Pauline! You owe me one!" she shouted into the sky, and grabbed a passing person's bicycle-realized she couldn't ride it-and ran off towards a restaurant.  
  
"Is she always that insane?" Kaiba asked.  
  
"Yeah.."  
  
"And who is this Pauline?" joey asked  
  
"a friend of ours." Kaite said. "For some reason she thinks Calcifer should have a southern accent when talking about joey so we put it in."  
  
"WHAT?! Put it in what?!"  
  
"Oh. Um never mind." Calcifer ran back carrying donuts, stew, pie, pizza, cake, and soda.  
  
"Here, Joey! It is all for you! EAT EAT EAT!!!"  
  
"Can I share it with people?" Joey asked.  
  
"Anything you want!!!" She said gazing happily at him. "Okay STOP this is getting really mushy! Patrick can we cut this scene?"  
  
"Maybe...."  
  
"Cut it from WHAT?!" everyone asked.  
  
"Ahh we'll tell you later." They both said.  
  
"Okay you guys had better get on to your hotel! You don't want to lose your reservation!!" Calcifer said. "We got you three rooms at the Alligator Inn!"  
  
"Wait! How did you know we were coming?!" Kaiba asked.  
  
"we told you! We know all!" they said and ran off after Calcifer stuffed a piece of paper with her phone number, AIM name and email address into Joey's hands.  
  
"See yah!" she called after waiting for Patrick to do the same thing to Kaiba.  
  
"That was fairly surreal..." Bakura said.  
  
"Oh I nearly forgot!" Calcifer called from a block away, "BAKURA! WATCH OUT FOR THE GATORS!" and ran off with Patrick.  
  
"Did she say 'gators'?"  
  
"I think so, you know: alligators." Joey said.  
  
"Alligators?! Oh my. What was she talking about? She seemed rather insane wouldn't you say?"  
  
**************************************************************************** ******  
  
YAY! This chapter had three purposes: To have Kaiba go on a dazing spree, To introduce us, Calcifer and Patrick Mckinney, the authors, and to forshadow the next chapter, which includes waterskis and some very angry crocodiles. The end part of this chapter was complete insanity, but hey, this is what happens when Calcifer and I get hyper on sugar. Muhaha! Gingersnaps!  
  
*Patrick and Miracle Vedailian begin to chant*  
  
PM and MV: Fluffernutter! Fluffernutter! Fluffernutter! Fluffernutter! Fluffernutter! Fluffernutter! Fluffernutter! Fluffernutter!...  
  
Seto and Pegasus: Oh my god! *runs*  
  
Seto: *comes back* And if anyone flames her, beware! MUHAHAH!  
  
PM: But constructive criticism is very much appreciative! MUAHAHAH!  
  
Cacifer: Kaiba, you didn't spell you're laugh right! It should be MUAHAHAH! Not MUHAHAH!  
  
Seto: *makes violent gesture towards Calcifer with laptop case*  
  
PM: HEY! No killing the co-author! Everyone, read and review, and if anyone has any Téa bashing requests, then tell me in a review, and I might put them in. Téa bashing. One of the finer things in life.  
  
Téa: Hey!  
  
Yami: *randomly appears* I banish you to the shadow realm! *nothing happens*Dang it! 


	6. Alligator Dun Joey

Hello Everyone! We're Back!  
  
Seto: You know, you say that at the beginning of every chapter?  
  
PM: Be quiet. Now, this is the chapter that includes some very. displeased alligators, And many many refrences to other things. So Calcifer will do the disclaimer.  
  
Calcifer: Hello! Contrary to popular belief we do NOT own: Yu-Gi-Oh, Rurouni Kenshin, Yu Yu Hakusho, or Crocodile Dundee.  
  
PM: WE DON'T?! NOOOOOOOOOO! *Sees mob of angry authors and lawyers* Oh right. We don't.  
  
Calcifer: Thanks to all our reviewers!  
  
Tipo.: We're on to your secret identity! Nice try, Rogndaldr! Your review was.interesting. You know, I had a girl say my story was interesting once, I wasn't sure whether it was an insult or a compliment ;-) anyway, thanks for the review!  
  
Authors' notes: GINGER SNAPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PM: You can do anything if you have ginger snaps!  
  
Calcifer: Ginger snaps are power! And remember, kids: Bears do NOT have long, fluffy fox tails, despite what the Audubon Society thinks! BEARS DON'T HAVE TAILS!!!!  
  
PM: Good little, Calcifer! We'll take you to the psychiatrist tomorrow!  
  
Calcifer: BEARS DON'T HAVE TAILS!!!!!!!!!!!! *Weeping madly, strangling Audubon Constellation book. Men in white coats come to take Calcifer away* BEARS DON'T HAVE TAILS!! *Is being shoved into padded van* NO TAILS!!!!  
  
PM: Let her go! I need her for the story! This chapter is slightly less insane than the last one, though not by much, though it IS less insane than Calcifer.  
  
**************************************************************************** ******  
  
"Hey, you guys! Let's go waterskiing!" Serenity said excitedly.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Let's go waterskiing!" She repeated.  
  
"But there is no water here." Bakura pointed out.  
  
"The bayou, silly!"  
  
"THE WHAT?!"  
  
"Bayou. It is like a river, only muddier. And more dangerous."  
  
"Dangerous?"  
  
"You know! Alligators, water rats, poisonous water snakes called 'water moccasins'."  
  
"And you are proposing that we actually go in this water?" Bakura asked.  
  
"Doesn't it sound like the most fun you ever could have?!" Serenity said, bouncing around happily.  
  
"Um.."  
  
"Great! We can go now!"  
  
" Well."  
  
"What are we talking about?" Joey, who had just walked up, asked.  
  
"Bakura is being a sissy." Serenity said.  
  
"No I am not! I just don't think water skiing with alligators is that good of an idea."  
  
"It'll be fun!" Joey said. "Hey, sis! Remember the time we went bungee jumping with homemade cords?"  
  
"Why do I feel like I am going to die?" Bakura asked himself.  
  
"What's this about bungee jumping?" Kaiba said from behind Joey. Joey jumped.  
  
"I'm serious Kaiba, you've gotta stop doin' that. Serenity an' I were remembering the time we went bungee jumping with homemade cords."  
  
"And you're still alive?"  
  
"Yeah, why wouldn't we be?"  
  
Kaiba shook his head. "Never mind."  
  
"Anyway," Joey said. "We're going waterskiing in the bayou."  
  
"Great, have a good time, see you at the morgue."  
  
"No, you're coming too."  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
"Yeah, and we can splash the alligators with our skis!"  
  
"I refuse to do something as juvenile and stupid as that."  
  
Joey paused for a moment. "HEY! What does that imply!?"  
  
"Exactly what you think it does. But in case you don't understand, I'll spell it out for you. You are juvenile, and stupid, got that?"  
  
Joey glared at Kaiba. "Well, if some people don't want to.  
  
"To risk their lives, you mean?"  
  
"Well, umm."  
  
"C'mon, big brother!" Serenity called, from outside the door.  
  
"Coming!" He called, and ran out, grabbing Bakura and Kaiba.  
  
"What the hell do you think you're doing, Wheeler!" Kaiba shouted.  
  
"Waterskiing with alligators?" Bakura said. "Oh my."  
  
**************************************************************************** ****** The teenagers and Mokuba assembled by the rented speed boat.  
  
"I am going to sit in the front, show off my bikini to any boy who might be watching, and watch you all kill yourselves," Mai said.  
  
"Fine. And I'LL stand on the sidelines and laugh." Kaiba said.  
  
"And I'll just go home shall I." Bakura said nervously.  
  
"No way! C'mon, Bakura!" Mokuba and Serenity said.  
  
"Waitaminute! My brother is NOT skiing with alligators!"  
  
"Spoilsport." Mokuba said, pouting.  
  
Joey dragged Bakura into the boat. "Ummm, you guys." Bakura said apprehensively. "I don't think."  
  
"Let's go!" Joey said, cutting off Bakura. Serenity got in the water and Joey started up the boat. Serenity was very good at waterskiing.  
  
"Whee! This is so fun!" She went closer to the alligators. "Awww, you're so cuuuuute!" The alligator, who was scarred for life at being called cute by a girl in a pink bikini, swam quickly away. "Ohh! Don't go!" she called after it. She then gave an extremely wild yell and skied jubilantly over to the other side neatly spraying Kaiba with the wake from her skis.  
  
"Hey!" he spluttered as the water entered his mouth. Mokuba laughed as his brother wrung water out of his coat. Mai giggled. Kaiba glared at her. As the boat got closer to the party on the shore, Kaiba yelled: "Hey, Mai! CATCH!" and threw a very large ball of pond scum at her, which hit her directly in the face.  
  
"KAIBA!" Joey yelled. "Leave Mai alone!"  
  
Two girls were snickering in lawn chairs a little ways away. They wore sunglasses and were drinking piña coladas.  
  
"Absolutely brilliant." Patrick said to Calcifer. Who was glaring at Mai for getting Joey's sympathy.  
  
"I don't see why he has to feel sorry for her." She said grumpily. "But it WAS funny."  
  
"Okay, I am skiing next!" Joey yelled. Kaiba got on the boat to drive. Mai got off to make room. The second Joey got on the skis he went over and sprayed Mai.  
  
"JOEY WHEELER!" She screamed at him. He began laughing so hard that he nearly ran straight into an alligator.  
  
"Woah! Hey there!" He said to the alligator. Then he steered away, spraying the alligator, making it...very displeased. "Oops. Sorry!" He called and went around the bayou a bit more. "Okay! It is Bakura's turn now!"  
  
"Um. How about I just watch from over here." Bakura suggested.  
  
"NO WAY!" Joey shouted. And shoved Bakura into the bayou, where he had no choice but to grab onto the rope and get on the skis. The boat began to go and he was muttering 'oh dear' repeatedly. Joey was driving and began making extremely fast turns, causing Bakura to experience some discomfort. He was passing the opposite bank, when he saw the two girls.  
  
"AHHHHH! There are those two prophetic girls!" He yelled and then saw the alligator that had been..displeased with Joey, swimming after him with all his friends, except the emotionally scarred one that was off finding a psychiatrist..to eat. "AHHHHHHHHHHH!" He yelled and let go of the rope in his state of shock. He began swimming as fast as he could towards the boat.  
  
"Do hurry, Bakura! Do hurry!" Kaiba called out in a mockery of Bakura's accent. All the people in the boat laughed and Joey slowly began turning the boat around to save Bakura.  
  
"How do you think we should get rid of the alligator?" Calcifer asked Patrick.  
  
"How about if Kenshin came with his sword and."  
  
"Or Sano could come and."  
  
"Or Kurama could come and."  
  
"Wait. This is a Yu-Gi-Oh fanfiction, isn't it.?" Calcifer said.  
  
"Dang." They both said.  
  
"I guess we should stick to the usual guys then?" Patrick asked. "I know! Seto could use his laptop case and knock out the alligators! And then. Bakura, in his thankfulness, could give Seto the Millennium Eye, and he could use it as a bribe to take over Pegasus's company!"  
  
"Oh please! That is sooo lame!" Calcifer said while scribbling on a piece of paper. "This is MY idea." She said, holding up her piece of paper that had a drawing of Joey, wearing an Australian hat, shark tooth necklace, khaki pants, and a vest without a shirt. "CROCODILE DUN-JOEY!"  
  
"Wouldn't it be 'Alligator Dun-Joey?" Patrick asked.  
  
"More like 'Alligator DUMB-Joey'" Kaiba said.  
  
"Or 'Alligator Dun-Ate-Joey'" Mokuba said, laughing.  
  
"HEY!" Calcifer yelled, and lunged at them.  
  
"A LITTLE HELP WOULD BE NICE OVER HERE!' Bakura cried out.  
  
"Oh. Right." They both said.  
  
"Hey, Alligators! Go away or here's what we'll do:." Calcifer began.  
  
"We'll let Serenity emotionally scar you!" Patrick finished. The alligators fled.  
  
"Hey you guys sound like Para and Dox!" Yugi said.  
  
"Uh-oh! If we continue to rhyme." Patrick said.  
  
"We'll have to serve time!" Calcifer added.  
  
"That isn't cool!"  
  
"Mai looks like a fool!"  
  
"That is irrelevant!"  
  
"She looks like an elephant!"  
  
"What sense does that make?"  
  
"Would you like a steak?"  
  
"CALCIFER!"  
  
"Umm..umm.. DANG! What rhymes with Calcifer?!"  
  
"Nothing! And that is the way it is going to stay!  
  
"I'm not sure I like things this way."  
  
"I'm warning you."  
  
"Would you like some stew?"  
  
"NO! YOU CUT THAT OUT!"  
  
"I am going to pout!"  
  
"Okay everyone: We're leaving! Goodbye!  
  
"No need to cry!"  
  
"CALCIFER! YOU SHALL DIE!  
  
"Oh my.." Bakura said.  
  
**************************************************************************** ******  
  
PM: Well, there you have it! Complete insanity.  
  
Calcifer: Bears.  
  
PM:*shuts Calcifer up* They'll come for you again! Seto, you can do the honors!  
  
Seto: Constructive criticism is completely adored, but inconstructive criticism, also known as flames, will not be Tolerated. This is why I have my sugar water gun.  
  
Joey: And my REBD can torch them all! MUAHAHAHAH!!  
  
Seto: Riiiiiiiiight then. And the emotionally scarred alligators will attack flamers after they are done with their quest to wreak vengeance on Serenity for emotionally scarring them. Thank you.  
  
PM: AND KENSHIN HIMURA ROCKS!  
  
Seto: *looks unhappy* That red haired, no good.  
  
PM: *Keeps him quiet, you can guess how*  
  
Calcifer: SANOSUKE SAGARA IS AWESOME! AND BEARS.DON'T.HAVE.  
  
PM: *Attacks Calcifer*  
  
Calcifer: TAILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Bakura: Oh my. 


	7. They Drove

Alright everyone, I mean, Hello! I'm Back! Anyway, Calcifer and I have run out of Gingersnaps. This is a very bad thing. So, we cannot think of anything creative for them to do between Canada and Louisiana. So.  
  
Seto: And they don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!  
  
**************************************************************************** ******  
  
They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They were hyper and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They were hyper and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They drove, and They FINALLY GOT TO THE BORDER OF CANADA!  
  
**************************************************************************** ******  
  
No flames! This is a perfect chapter! Just kidding. Don't hurt us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
And please email all ginger snaps to the Kaiba mansion, Thank you! 


	8. I Just Want Cookie Dough!

Calcifer: Hey there! We're back! Hehehe, I have slightly gotten over the fact that bears don't have tails. yeah.  
  
PM: Sorry about that last chapter..we have our ginger snaps back now.  
  
Calcifer: So let the creativity run wild!  
  
Joey: It is MY turn to do the disclaimer, AHEM: We don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, yeah, that was thrilling.KAIBA! You told me that this was FUN!  
  
Kaiba: Oopsy. Sorry, Wheeler. *Grins maliciously*  
  
*****************************************************************  
  
"Look! There is the border!" shouted Bakura as they saw a long line of cars.  
  
"Do we have to wait in that line?" asked Teá looking apprehensive.  
  
"I guess so." Bakura answered. Everyone groaned.  
  
"Hey look at the bright side guys!" Joey said from the driver's seat as he slowed the car down and finally stopped at the very end of the huge line of cars waiting to cross over into Canada.  
  
"WHAT bright side?!" Teá yelled.  
  
"ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!" shouted Tristan who had caught sight of the truck doing a roaring trade along the side of the road.  
  
"Don't you dare give Mokuba any more sugar!" everyone, except Mokuba, yelled. None on them had forgotten what is was like when Mokuba had been bouncing off the walls.  
  
"What is your problem?" asked Mai who had not experienced the unbelievable sugar rush first hand. Everyone groaned again but cheered up ten minutes later when the ice cream truck came their way.  
  
"Okay, orders! C'mon people he'll be here any minute and with this many of us I think it might take a while." after Joey finished speaking a clamor arose.  
  
"Chocolate! Vanilla! Strawberry, no, chocolate chip, no, Mint! I want cookie dough. I want a sundae! I want an almond bar! I want three! I want sugar-free! Weirdo! Hey!" a fight involving slapping broke out between Mai and Tristan over the advantages/disadvantages of sugar-free ice cream.  
  
When the truck came to them pandemonium had ensued. Kaiba was cradling his aching head in his hands while Mokuba was hopping up and down at the prospect of more sugar. Tristan and Mai were screaming at each other.  
  
Bakura was constantly changing his mind about the flavor he wanted. Yugi was asking Serenity what she thought about a double scoop of bubblegum and pralines because he couldn't make up his mind, and she was telling him that sounded like a good idea and how she was going to get cookie dough. Teá was telling Tristan that sugarless ice cream was really good for you but she couldn't be heard over Mai's screams and Tristan's angry yells.  
  
"IF YOU ALL CAN'T MAKE UP YOUR MINDS I'LL ORDER YOU ALL RAINBOW SORBET WITH SPRINKLES!" Joey yelled.  
  
"I just want some cookie dough."  
  
"Ewwwwwww." Tristan said, "SORBET!?"  
  
"That sounds good!" said Teá and Mai, "NO fat!"  
  
"JINX!" yelled Mokuba and Yugi. Serenity crawled up over the seats, and over the fights and past Mokuba who was singing a song about sugar until she came up between the front two seats.  
  
"Hey, Sis." said Joey looking seriously annoyed that his threat had just resulted in more chaos.  
  
"I want cookie dough."  
  
"Bless you! Someone who can actually make up their mind!" Kaiba said to her, "By the way Wheeler I'll have chocolate."  
  
"Okay and I want a triple scoop of cookies and cream, espresso flake, and Smarties ice cream. Smarties can only be found in Canada y'know!"  
  
"That is so amazing Wheeler."  
  
"Okay, we would like a single scoop of cookie dough, a single of chocolate and the triple." Joey said to the ice cream man.  
  
"Will that be all, sir?" The ice cream man asked. Joey looked back the arguers.  
  
"They'll never stop will they? And Bakura will never decide on a flavor and your brother and Yugi shouldn't have sugar, anyway. Yeah that's all." He and Kaiba paid the man and he drove off looking very exhausted. The car moved forward a bit in the line and Serenity stayed where she was and talked to her brother and Kaiba about the latest movies, and they all ate their ice cream.  
  
************************************************************  
  
"Okay, I think we are ready to order!" Tristan called out half an hour later, "You ready Joey?"  
  
"Ummmmmmmmmm, no. The ice cream guy left half an hour ago. You didn't notice."  
  
"WHAT!?" Everyone cried out.  
  
"Sorry. He couldn't stick around. But look! We are nearly to the checking stand! Get your passports ready!" Everyone began rooting through their bags to find their passports. Kaiba pulled out his and Mokuba's from an organized inside pocket, Joey pulled his and Serenity's out from the glove compartment, one by one each of the passports was handed to Joey. He drove up to the window and handed the large stack to the woman at the gate. She looked through the windows at everyone.  
  
"Hey are you the Yugi Muto who is the King of Games?!"  
  
"Uh yeah."  
  
"Cool! Can I have an autograph?" She handed him a random form and he signed.  
  
"Hey do you want my autograph? Joey Wheeler- first runner up in the Duelist Kingdom!"  
  
"Uh, I have never heard of you before." Joey sulked all the way through the inspection.  
  
"She was pretty cute!" Tristan said after they had gone through.  
  
"Yeah, yeah whatever." said Joey, still annoyed, "Hey! We are in Canada! COOL!"  
  
"And it only took forty minutes! Yay!" Mai said, sarcasm dripping from her voice.  
  
"HEY! Is this MY fault?! Who took three hours to get ready this morning, eh, eh!?"  
  
"Hmmmm we must be in Canada! Wheeler has adjusted his accent again and is now saying 'eh'." Kaiba said laughing. Suddenly Teá screamed.  
  
"There are EYES in that wood!"  
  
"What?!" They all looked out into the forest they had been driving in for the past ten minutes as Joey slowed the car. After a while they saw antlers, big brown eyes and a furry nose poke out of the trees.  
  
"It is a moose!" Serenity cried out joyfully. "Oh Joey! Can we keep it?" Just then the moose came fully out of the trees it was much bigger than the van and everyone gasped.  
  
"Woah." Tristan said as the moose walked down the road in front of them. "That is waaaaaaaaayy freaky."  
  
"No! It is sooooooo cute!" Serenity argued. The moose wandered around for a bit and then went back into the trees. Teá was still shaking with fright.  
  
"Hey, that was enough excitement for one day!" Joey said, "Who wants to drive?" No one said anything. They all looked at the twisting road ahead of them. "No one?" Joey pleaded.  
  
"I'll drive." Mai said lazily. Tristan closed his eyes and looked pained. Kaiba said,  
  
"We are all going to die." "HEY! I am a GREAT driver!"  
  
" You said you were a great duelist."  
  
"Oh come on! It is either me or Joey!" They all thought about this choice, looking at Joey who was yawning and rubbing his eyes. He could fall asleep anywhere....  
  
"Mai!" They all said as one.  
  
"JINX!" Mokuba shouted, and was promptly hit on the head by Tristan who was sitting next to him.  
  
"Hit my brother one more time Taylor...." said Kaiba, making his point by cracking his knuckles.  
  
"I thought you would agree with me." Mai said smugly.  
  
"Whatever. As long as I can sleep." Joey moaned, " So tired! Must Rest!" Everyone got out of the car and switched places. Joey was too tired to notice Serenity and Tristan sitting next to each other. Now Mai was in the front with Bakura in the passenger seat. Joey was sitting in the middle seat next to Yugi, who was sitting next to Teá who was sitting next to Kaiba. Tristan, Serenity, and Mokuba were in the back. Joey instantly fell asleep. Yugi began talking to Teá, and Kaiba stared out the window. Mokuba was really tired and went out like a light, as all the sugar in his system stopped making him hyper and he had a sugar crash. Bakura was telling Mai about Britain and she was not trying to hide how bored she was as the car climbed up the mountain. Tristan was flirting with Serenity and she was giggling quietly. Kaiba got out his laptop and began checking his finances. Teá began her backseat driving again.  
  
"Mai! You are going way too fast!"  
  
"Shut up! I know what I am doing!" Mai said to her. "Now which is the brake and which is the accelerator?" she thought to herself.  
  
They finally got to the other side of the mountain and saw a sign saying a town was only sixty kilometers away. Just then Joey woke up. He stretched, hitting Yugi, Teá, and Kaiba on the head and yawned.  
  
"Ahhhhh. How long have I been asleep, guys?"  
  
"About half an hour, it is about time you woke up." Mai said. "Are we feeling better, Joseph?"  
  
"Yeah. Thanks!" Mai rolled her eyes.  
  
"We will stop in that town in an hour." she said. Kaiba looked up.  
  
"You will only be going 36 miles per hour?" he asked.  
  
"No! I am going sixty miles per hour. That is why it will take an hour to get there." Mai said sounding exasperated.  
  
"That sign was in kilometers."  
  
"So?"  
  
"So, you have to convert it." Kaiba said sounding bored.  
  
"They are close enough."  
  
"Not really, Mai." Joey, to everyone's surprise said. Kaiba looked totally astonished.  
  
"I suppose you know the conversion rate, Wheeler." he said scornfully.  
  
"Hey I'm not totally stupid!" Joey yelled. "You have to multiply the number of kilometers by 0.6 to get the number of miles! Duh!" Everyone blinked.  
  
"Joey don't tell me you were actually paying attention in class for once!" Tristan said, laughing.  
  
"Yeah. I thought it would be useful when I went to Canada so I stayed awake." Joey said to him and then looked at Tristan for a minute.  
  
"Hey man! What are you looking at?!" Tristan asked, looking very nervous as Joey's look of confusion turned to one of rage. Joey glared at him and then leapt into the back and tackled him. "Bro! OW! Lay off! What's your problem?!" Tristan yelled.  
  
"WHAT DID I TELL YOU TRISTAN?" Joey yelled while punching Tristan on the head.  
  
"How should I know? No one EVER listens to YOU!" Tristan gasped out while trying to get Joey to let go of his neck.  
  
"Ok I'll repeat myself for your slow mind: STAY! AWAY! FROM! MY! SISTER!" He said while strangling Tristan. Yugi turned into Yami and jumped back to save Tristan from Joey's wrath, Mai stopped the car, Kaiba was cracking up, Teá was giving a friendship speck that no one could hear, Bakura was muttering 'Oh dear, oh dear!', Serenity was telling Joey to cut it out and Mokuba was still asleep. Tristan finally got Joey off his back with Yugi's help. Joey was glaring at him but had stopped trying to kill him.  
  
"Can I keep driving now?" Mai asked.  
  
"No." Joey said. "First there has to be a seating change. Kaiba you switch with Serenity."  
  
"No. There is absolutely no way I will sit in the back with Tristan!" Kaiba protested.  
  
"Fine. I'll drive and Bakura can sit in the back, and Mai can sit in the passenger seat, and Serenity will sit in my old seat." Joey announced. Everyone but Serenity, Tristan, and Bakura was fine with this so the switch began. Twenty minutes later everyone was in their proper place and Serenity, Tristan and Bakura were pouting. Joey began to drive and conversations began again.  
  
************************************************************ 


	9. Caution: Keep Maple Sugar Candy Away fro...

PM: Hi, we are back!  
  
Calcifer: Again.  
  
Joey: Yeah.  
  
Kaiba: Exciting isn't it.  
  
Calcifer: Yes, yes.  
  
Joey: I'm jumping for joy.  
  
PM: Hey! That's not nice!  
  
Calcifer: *whispering to audience* We think the Kindergarten Seminar affected her mind.  
  
PM: I DIDN'T GO TO A KINDERGARTEN SEMINAR!  
  
Calcifer/Joey: That's what they ALL say.  
  
PM: THAT ISN'T NICE!  
  
Calcifer: See what we mean? Oh, by the way, we don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!  
  
****************************************************************  
  
As they drove into the town Teá spotted a sign saying that there was a dance tonight. She really wanted to go and show off her dancing skills. After they had checked in and Joey and Tristan had gone off to buy some maple sugar candy from the gift shop, Teá asked Serenity if she wanted to go to the dance. Serenity declined, so Teá asked Bakura who blanched and ran away, and then she went looking for Yugi who was out buying some Duel Monsters Cards from a shop down the road. Once she found him and asked him whether he wanted to go or not he said sure. As they went to go get dressed for it Yugi passed Kaiba in the corridor.  
  
"Hi Kaiba! Do you want to go dancing with us?" he asked. Kaiba merely glared at him and went into his room. "I'll take that as a 'no'." Yugi sighed to himself. Mai poked her head out of her room.  
  
"Yugi! Did you say 'dancing'?"  
  
"Yeah, Mai. Want to come?" He said.  
  
"Sure thing. Who else is going?"  
  
"Well.me and Teá." Mai looked horrified.  
  
"Only you two? How boring! Never mind!" She went back into her room and slammed the door. Yugi sighed again. He was not a very good dancer. He was standing in the hallway remembering the last time he had danced and knocked ton of stuff over, when a piece of candy was thrust in front of his face.  
  
"HEY Yug'!" Joey said cheerfully, "You look blue." "Yeah. I am going to a dance thing with Teá and I am really, really bad at all dancing. I am trying to get other people to come but no one wants to." Joey looked thoughtful.  
  
"Well. I guess I could come, and maybe Tristan. What about Mai? And Serenity? None of them wanted to go?"  
  
"Nope." Yugi said, sadly and ate the piece of candy Joey was offering him.  
  
"Why did you say 'yes' if you don't like dancing?" Joey asked him. "I personally can think of lots of better stuff to do then a square dance."  
  
"It is a SQUARE DANCE?" Yugi said looking even more upset.  
  
"Yeah, that is what the sign said. Also, ten dollars per person. Sounded pretty ghastly to me." Joey said smiling. Yugi moaned. This was getting worse and worse. "Well, at least with a square dance you are told what dance moves to do." Joey offered.  
  
"Ooooh, yay." Yugi said sarcastically "Just what I need."  
  
"How about this: I tell Serenity and Tristan to go with Teá and you stay home with Bakura and me?"  
  
"I Guess so..." Before Yugi could finish his sentence Joey had run off to go tell Serenity and Tristan to get ready to go and to tell Teá that Yugi wasn't going. "Man he is hyper," Yugi said to himself, he was feeling a bit hyper too, come to think about it.but had he even had any sugar today? Oh yeah, Joey's candy. He saw Tristan coming up the stairs and bouncing up and down on each stair.  
  
"Hi Tristan! What are you doing?' Yugi said running over.  
  
"Uhhh just hopping." Tristan said while eating maple sugar candies out of box, there were two left.  
  
"How many of those have you HAD?!" Yugi yelled.  
  
"Well. there are twelve in a box and this is my second box and there are two left.twenty-two."  
  
"What?! Tristan, those things are pure sugar!"  
  
"Really?" Tristan said disinterestedly. Then Mokuba came over.  
  
"Hi guys! Whatcha doing?" He asked. "Is that candy? Can I have some?"  
  
"No!" Tristan yelled. Mai had heard him yell and came out of her room.  
  
"Please?" begged Mokuba.  
  
"NO! NO! NO!" Tristan shouted. Mai looked shocked.  
  
"Tristan Taylor! How can you be so mean to a little kid?"  
  
"Mai he gets really hyper!" Yugi protested.  
  
"Kids are supposed to be hyper!" said Mai. "Come on, Mokuba! I'll buy you some of your own." They walked of and Tristan was absentmindedly fiddling with his jacket and hair, he was always moving.  
  
" This wont be good." Yugi said. Joey came running back.  
  
"Higuys!Howareyou?Iamfine!Thatisgreat!" He was bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet just like Tristan; he was talking really fast and babbling.  
  
"Joey? How many candies have you had?" Yugi asked.  
  
"Uhhh two boxes plus six that would be.thirty candies!" he said. "Why? By the way, Yugi, I told Teá that you weren't going and she was okay with that and I gave her some candy and I gave Serenity some too and then I saw Bakura....." Joey continued to talk but he was saying things so fast that it was impossible to follow.  
  
Then Teá came out of her room and she hopping from one foot to the other. Serenity came out too, rapidly braiding and unbraiding her bangs, Bakura was running up and down the hall. Yugi looked at all the hyper people around him and then realized that he was fidgeting too. Everyone was talking really fast and nothing could be understood. Finally, annoyed by the noise, Kaiba walked out into the hallway. He looked partially amused until he saw Mai and Mokuba coming back from the gift shop. Mokuba was holding an open box and was eating something out of it. Mai was also chewing on something, and by the fact that Mokuba was running in zigzags the 'something' he was eating was sugar.  
****************************************************************  
  
No one ended up going to the dance that night. Everyone went swimming, did their laundry, took showers, organized their dueling cards, played video games, played basketball and exercised- all in one hour. Amazing thing sugar. Kaiba unfortunately had eaten some of the candies immediately prior to coming out to see what was going on in the hallway so everyone was bouncing off the walls.  
  
They stayed up all night doing any activity that would use up their excess energy. In the morning they all, except Mokuba, looked worse for wear. Serenity's and Joey's hair was identical: all over the place. They looked very similar; the family resemblance was very visible. Tristan had deep shadows under his eyes and was under the proud opinion that he had five-o'clock shadow. He tried to point it out and everyone laughed at him. Mai's makeup had smeared, but she still looked better than everyone else. Kaiba's hair was also messed up. Bakura looked very disheveled. All in all: it had not been a good night. They were still hyper however.. 


	10. Of Stapleguns and Mariks

PM: Hey! I'm.  
  
Seto: Back! Must you always say that?  
  
PM: But Seto-chan! I'm quoting you! Oh. Alright then.  
  
PM: Yes. Anyway, Here is the next chapter. And Tipo? You're wish has been granted. Rebbie/Tipo wrote a lot of this chapter with Calcifer because I was having serious writers block but here we go. Sorry about the wonky spacing.  
  
Seto: She doesn't own Yugioh.  
  
**************************************************************************** ******  
  
Seto Kaiba walked downstairs that morning, or should I say afternoon to see the rest of the gang having a late lunch. Joey glanced up from his food, only to nearly choke laughing. Kaiba's hair wasn't its usual sleek self. Apparently Seto hadn't combed it yet. It was very long, and rather tangled. Seto gave Joey a murderous look, and sat down. Tristan was reading the paper over Serenity's shoulder. Not that he was interested in the paper.  
  
Then something caught Tristan's eye.  
  
"Hey you guys! Take a look at this! There's a Staplegun show!"  
  
Kaiba looked horrified. "A STAPLE GUN SHOW?!!"  
  
"Come on guys, we gotta go!"  
  
"Hmm. It won't be too bad if it'll annoy Kaiba."  
  
"Oh no! I refuse to enter a place with so many deranged staplegun- carrying freaks all in one place."  
  
"Aw, come on Kaiba! You walking into work everyday, with the big five and company can't be less dangerous!"  
  
Still Kaiba refused. "No. That's final. I refuse to go to this. this. HEY!"  
  
**************************************************************************** ******  
  
"I hate you all. I will kill you all as soon as I get the chance for this. You do realize this don't you?"  
  
"Yeah yeah, shut up Kaiba." Joey said uncomfortably as Kaiba glared into the back of his head, almost burning holes in it. Joey was starting to regret this. He, Yami Yugi, Yami Bakura, and Tristan, for fun, had jumped on Kaiba, tied him up, put him in the back of the van, with Tristan and the staplegun next to him and they were all going to the staple gun show. Kaiba shifted his glare to Tristan who cringed very visibly. He then glared at Yami Yugi, who was trying to ignore Kaiba, though not successfully. Seto finally turned his evil eye on Yami Bakura, who immediately made the Egyptian sign against evil. Seto went back to stareing at the back of Joey's head.  
  
"I swear he's the reincarnation of Set." Yami Bakura muttered.  
  
"Who's Set?" Joey asked. Yami Yugi looked equally confused.  
  
"Set, or Seth, Egyptian God of War, and eternal enemy of Horus, the Sun god, and son of Osiris. Oh yeah! Who studied their religeon and actually remembers it after 5000 years! Oh yeah!"  
  
"By Ra, Bakura, must you rub in the fact that I lost my memory!?" Yami Yugi complained.  
  
"Of course!" He wilted slightly as Kaiba glared at him again.  
  
"I do remember Ra. And Horus." Yami Yugi said after a moment.  
  
"Yeah, only because the Pharaoh is supposed to BE Ra on earth! And even I remember them!"  
  
"Well. ummm. there's. ummm." Yami Yugi stuttered trying to remember more gods and goddesses.  
  
"There's Hathor, the goddess of love, fertility and luck." Yami Bakura flaunted his knowledge in front of Yami Yugi.  
  
Yami Yugi glared at the former tomb robber, the eye on his puzzle beginning to glow. Bakura's ring began to glow. They both glared at each other.  
  
"Hold on guys! No sending people to the shadow realm in the car."  
  
They both turned to glare at Joey, causing Joey to experience great discomfort. He had Yami Yugi and Yami Bakura glaring at him with their millennium items glowing. Joey really didn't want to go to the shadow realm. And then of course there was Kaiba who was giving Joey a look that said only too clearly he'd kill him as soon as he had the chance. Joey sighed. This was going to be a long day.  
  
**************************************************************************** ******  
As Joey parked messily against the curb, Tristan jumped out of the car so quickly he smashed his head against the car door.   
Serenity sighed, and helped him up. "Tristan, dear, you need to calm down. This is just a staple gun convention."   
"Serenity! How can you say that? This is not just any Staple Gun Convention! This is my staple gun convention!" Tristan said, his voice high pitched and desperate.   
"Yours?" Bakura interrogated.   
"Well, not mine obviously. But* but," Tristan's voice deepened, and he rubbed his hands together, "it's* precious to me."   
  
Mai rolled her eyes again, and strolled casually toward the entrance. "If you buffoons ever feel like joining me, I'm going to go see what the big deal is." At her words, Joey followed Tristan's example, and banged his head in his hurry to get out of the car.   
  
"Oh dear," said Bakura, and climbed slowly out of the car.   
  
Kaiba muttered darkly in Japanese.  
  
They all got out of the car, or were forced, and walked towards the gates. The lady at the front gave them free tickets, in exchange for Yami's autograph, and they went in.  
  
Tristan was in ecstasy. Kaiba glanced nervously around. So many staple guns. He contemplated stealing one and killing Joey and the rest, but decided against it.  
  
Suddenly an evil laugh rent the air. Yami Bakura and Yami Yugi whirled around to find Marik behind them. He grinned insanely. "And what would Pharaoh, tomb robber and friends be doing at a staplegun show?"  
  
Yami Yugi nodded his head towards the ecstatic Tristan. "He's a collecter."  
  
Marik's face turned from one of amusement to one of intrest. "Really? That's so cool! I collect too!"  
  
"You do?!" Tristan shouted.  
  
"Yeah! Did you know that someone is selling a millennium staple gun over there!?"  
  
"WOW!!!!!!!!!!" Tristan ran in the direction Marik pointed.  
  
Marik rolled his eyes. "As if I would collect something like that." He sighed. "Baka.[1]"  
  
"So why are you here Marik?" Joey asked.  
  
Marik laughed. "I may not collect, but unfortunately Ishizu, my sister does."  
  
They glimpsed Ishizu talking excitedly to a man with a purple staplegun.  
  
"That was a good lie you told Marik. About the Millenium Staplegun."  
  
"I wasn't lieing." He walked off in search of his sister.  
  
A young girl sat at the stand. She was dressed in all black, with poison red nail polish, and numerous quantities of jewelry. She smacked her bubble gum noisily as our Heroes approached.   
  
"Um. Hi." Tristan said.   
  
She studied him closely. "Nope," she said, and went back to smacking her gum, and looking through the crowd.   
  
"Nope?" Joey said, miffed.   
  
She turned back and look at the eight people in front of her as though seeing them for the first time. "Hi! Can I help you?"   
  
The crew exchanged looks.   
  
"Yes," Kaiba said. "Tell me, what is this Millenium Item?"   
  
The girl stared at him for a moment. "Oh, that. Yeah, it's the Millenium staple gun."   
  
"What?" Tristan squawked, "There's a Millenium Staple Gun?"   
  
"Yep. It's* my precious." She said, her voice deepening, rubbing her hands together.   
  
Tristan glanced between the girl and Serenity, and muttered a swear word under his breath.   
  
The girl heard him, and giggled. "Sorry about that, I think that was Yami Rebbie. I'm regular Rebbie."  
  
She grinned at them. "So, you're interested in buying?" She looked at all of the crew. "Which* one of you?"   
  
"Me!" they all said in unison.   
  
Rebbie giggled again. "Wow, I haven't had any business all morning, and now I've got eight prospective customers! Wanna pick a number between one and one hundred?"   
  
"That's no way to do business!" Kaiba said, outraged.   
  
"Yes, seriously!" Tristan agreed (for once), "You can't just take this so lightly! I would pay millions for a Millenium Staple Gun!"   
  
"You* have millions?" Rebbie inquired.   
  
"Well," Tristan faltered, "no, but I would pay an arm and a leg for it!"   
  
Rebbie's eyes darkened, and her long, black hair became longer and curlier. "An arm and a leg's fine," she said, smirking.   
  
Kaiba stared. There was* something in that smirk.  
  
"HEY!" Patrick yelled. "He's mine!"   
  
Rebbie blushed, and looked at Patrick and Calcifer, who had popped up behind her. "Whoops. Where did you guys come from?"   
  
Calcifer sighed, and turned to Our Heroes. "You'll have to forgive Rebbie. She's* well, she's Rebbie. There's not really another way to describe her."   
  
"Now then," Patrick said, looping her arm through Kaiba's, "where do you want to take us for lunch?"   
  
Even though Tristan and Rebbie weren't nearly ready to leave the convention, Calcifer and Patrick managed to drag them along with the rest to have lunch at a nearby diner.   
  
Kaiba led the way, having shaken off Patrick a little while earlier. Bakura followed, deep in thought with his Yami, discussing Rebbie, and the sudden (frightening) appearance of Calcifer and Patrick. Mai followed, with Joey close behind. Very close behind. Calcifer, having given up on talking to Joey was deep in discussion with Patrick. Rebbie trotted behind them, while Serenity clung protectively to Tristan, who kept tripping over things.   
  
When they got to the diner, they successfully found the biggest booth in the place. Our Heroes sat down, while Calcifer, Rebbie and Patrick took a table nearby. They remained deep in discussion, though Calcifer and Patrick made numerous longing glances to Kaiba and Joey, respectively.   
  
Rebbie had her eyes on someone else. A tall, thin stranger had entered the diner. His long, white hair fell in his violet eyes. He winked at Rebbie in passing, and her mouth dropped open. "Guh*?" she said.   
  
Patrick glared. "Rebbie, idiot! You're not supposed to like Marik." Calcifer's eyes bulged in anger, and Patrick struggled to restrain her. "Calicfer! No murdering in diners. Not legal," she added.   
  
"We hatesss him, the nasty little Marik. Grrr."   
  
"Marik? Who's Marik," Rebbie said a moment later, still staring at the tall stranger.   
  
"Umm, Rebbie, Marik's the tall stranger."   
  
"Oh," Rebbie said. "Oh! Duuude. He's hot."   
  
Calcifer and Patrick exchanged a glance. "Okay, you've had your moment, Rebbie. Can I kill him?" Calcifer said impatiently.   
  
"Kill him? A beauty like that? Heck no! That's* like, sacrilege or something! He's so pretty!" Rebbie said.   
  
Our Heroes' table burst into laughter, as they had been listening closely to the conversation. "That's not really Marik, is it?" asked Teá.   
  
"Yes. That is Marik," Yami said, his eyes narrowing.   
  
Marik rose from his table and strolled over to Rebbie. "Hey," he said, flicking his hair out of his eyes.   
  
Calcifer muttered darkly that Marik was stealing Joey's Hair Flick, while Rebbie tried her best to keep from swooning. "Hi?" she replied meekly.   
  
"I'm Marik."   
  
"I know," Rebbie giggled.   
  
"You. know?" Marik said, raising a neat eyebrow.   
  
"I wrote most of this chapter," Rebbie said nodding.   
  
"*What?" Marik asked.   
  
"WHAT?" Joey, Kaiba, and Bakura screeched.   
  
"Oops." Rebbie blushed. ----------------------- [1] Baka- Japanese for fool 


	11. Apology for Lack of updates

Umm. I'm Back? Ack! Don't hurt me! I'm really really really sorry about the lack of updates! I've been at Spanish camp for the last two weeks and had serious writers block. Calcifer's in Canada I think, and I have no gingersnaps! NOOOO! But I'm trying to write as quickly as possible and still do really well. But my muses have left me for the moment. I will post the next chapter ASAP!!!! I really will! Don't leave me! I'll catch up on my thank you's for reviewers of the tenth chapter and any other ones I have recently received. Once again forgive me! I've also been reading Order of the Phoenix, which I finished in record time, and am trying to figure out how to fix my role playing, which is now completely messed up. Thank you. Readers, your reviews give my life meaning. Please do not kill me.  
  
Thank you's for reviews:  
  
Calcifer: You are insane. That's ok though. And I don't usually criticize your spelling! Who reads over my shoulder when I'm typing pointing out every little mistake? Hmm? And yes, GO REBBIE! And Calcifer you had better come back before our reviewers kill me.  
  
Sky: GO TOLKEIN! That was one of the things I missed most at camp. My LOTR books and DVDs. Yeah, the gollum thing was Rebbie's and Calcifers idea, because my chapter just was not working, so they wrote a version during a free and I combined them. Rebbie rocks. Did we forget Yugi in our third chapter? Must find out. Thank you so much for your review!  
  
TsukiMegumi: Of course we'll continue! As soon as my muses and or Calcifer returns.Evil muses. THEY'VE ABANDONED MEEEE!!!!! Sorry. Seto's journal.? *grins evilly* muahaha..  
  
sk: oh no.  
  
hmmmm. Flame throwers? Sounds fun to me. Mabye no more conventions for a while, otherwise my Seto-sama will go insane. Even more so. Heh.  
  
sk: -___- I resent that.  
  
YamiWestley: Yes that's what calcifer thinks too. She wants to kill him. And so do I. But I would be mobbed by a horde of evil marik fangirls, including Rebbie, and seeing as I'm sitting here writing this instead of owning Yugioh, I don't have enough to pay for hospital bills. Heh. Thank you so much for the review!!!  
  
Anna: Oro? Umm. well. I'm not. Who ever you think I am. Because I'm not a guy. Heh. Sorry.  
  
Dclick: Yeah, I haven't ever been to Canada, but Cacifer goes every summer, so she knows what it's like. Thank you for the review!  
  
ChibiSerenity: Sorry I kept you waiting! And now I'm doing it again! ARG! SOOOOOOO SOOOOOORRRYYYYY!!!! I'm really glad you like it! Yeah, Tristan/Serenity isn't my favorite couple but tis fun to write because it gives Joey a reason to get mad at Tristan. heh. Thank you sooooo much!!!  
  
Rebbie: WHOOO HOOO! GO YOU! YOU ROCK! WE ROCK! YAY! and for anyone else that is reading, she is like that. And the rating is PG. I think. heh. I think its ok, because anyone who might normally have been scarred by that remark is already scarred from reading our story. So I think its ok. harry: Tell Ron he makes a great keeper for us! He rocks! Whoohoo! pm: harrry, just because you are my alter ego doesn't give you the right to come into a Yugioh fanfiction. harry: Oh. Right. Sorry. Wait. How come the real Patrick can come then?! pm: Because I'm using his name. Now be quiet. harry: but. pm: *glares at harry* Potter. harry: Alright! Alright! Arg. *walks off*  
  
Redhop: How else would we write the story without being insanely hyper? heh. Thanks! ^___^  
  
Wildwolf: *Gasp* *Choke* You reviewed me!!! ^____^ I really like your stories, even if I don't really like the pairing! It's so cute!!!! YAY!  
  
Umm. I think that's all the recent reviews. To all the other reviews I didn't answer, THANK YOU SOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!! YOU GIVE MY LIFE MEANING! ARIGATO!!!  
  
Alright. Everyone read Order of the Phoenix. So good. And afterwards, you can join me in my quest to kill the Umbridge woman. We hatessss her the nasty little. well, yeah. I will write asap so don't kill me! Thank you. 


	12. Beware Yami's with guns!

Pm: Hey guys! We're Back! I know. I know. we haven't updated since June. JUNE! *runs for cover* Don't huuuurt us precious.. . But we are back. And we will try to update as much as possible. I don't really have free time, nor does Calcifer, but I have bishies and that makes the world alright. ^_^  
  
Bishies: ^__^  
  
Pm: So. Here it is. The eleventh, aka the twelfth chapter of roadtrip. Here it be! This update is a birthday present to Calcifer! Say happy birthday to her! YAAAY!  
  
Calcifer's bishies: *celebrate and throw a party*  
  
Pm: And no one may sue us, because like I've said in all the other chapters, Yugioh does not belong to us! Nor does that Laura Croft Tomb Raider movie.  
  
*****************************************************************  
  
Kaiba got up that morning at four, cursed at himself for sleeping in late, and started working. At seven, the rest of the gang were up, deciding who was going to wake, Joey.  
  
"Tristan, you can't be serious. No one sleeps with a baseball bat as a comfort object." said Bakura.  
  
"Oh but I am."  
  
Bakura shook his head as Kaiba put his laptop away, listening to the talk.  
  
"That's probably the smartest thing the mutt's ever done. sleep with a baseball bat. ridiculous." he thought.  
  
Kaiba stood. Rolling his eyes, he muttered, "Pathetic." and walked into Joey's room.  
  
Tristan's jaw dropped. "He can't be serious."  
  
The group waited in silence. Then there was a yelp, a crack, and quite a bit of cursing, and the door opened again. Kaiba strode quickly out of the room cursing softly, glaring at anyone who dared make eye contact with him. A few moments later Joey walked out in his pajamas with a baseball bat over his shoulder glaring at Kaiba.  
  
"Serves ya right! Don' wake me up like that!!"  
  
Kaiba rolled his eyes and walked out of the room, his remaining dignity not allowing him to rub the rather large bump on his head.  
  
*****************************************************************  
  
As the gang was getting ready to go Joey did a head count. After getting over the confusion of people running around in the van, and never staying put no matter how many times he asked them, he managed to realize that one person (well, spirit rather) was missing.  
  
"Hey! Where's Yami Bakura!?" He yelled. Bakura looked up.  
  
"Oh! I think he said something about going to the movies."  
  
"What?! We're about to leave! Come on let's go get him." Joey and Bakura left the van, along with Tristan who Joey had dragged away from Serenity, and Kaiba who wanted to see what was up.  
  
As they walked toward the movie theatre they saw Yami Bakura standing outside, clutching a poster, wearing a new shirt, and with. two pistols???  
  
Joey approached cautiously (beware a Yami with guns!)  
  
"Yami. Bakura?" He asked.  
  
"Hi, Wheeler! I just saw the most beautiful, amazing movie of my life!"  
  
"Finding Nemo?" Bakura asked excitedly. "That's my favorite!"  
  
"Terminator?" Tristan asked.  
  
"Piglet's BIG Movie?" Kaiba asked, and when they all stared at him, "What?! Mokuba likes it."  
  
Yami Bakura merely shook his head to all these guesses.  
  
"Then what?" Joey said, he was not in the mood for this, thinking about that morning.  
  
Yami Bakura sighed with a dreamy grin.  
  
"I'm in love." He said simply, and pointed to the poster of the 'Lara Croft: Tomb Raider' movie.  
  
"You're in LOVE with Lara Croft?!" Bakura cried, aghast.  
  
Yami Bakura nodded and hugged his poster closer.  
  
"Yami Bakura. You're hugging a poster of a fictional character!" Joey yelled at him.  
  
Suddenly Calcifer stuck her head in.  
  
"THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT! I DO IT ALL THE TIME!" She yelled, and then Patrick yanked her away.  
  
"Anyway, we really need to be going. don't forget about my board meeting!" Kaiba warned.  
  
"But I can't just *leave* her!" Yami Bakura protested. "She's a Tomb Robber!"  
  
"Tomb Raider" Tristan corrected. "And I've got to agree with you Yami B. She is hot."  
  
"SHE'S MINE!" Yami Bakura screamed at him, then sent him to the Shadow Realm.  
  
"HEY! Bring Tristan back!" Joey yelled at him.  
  
"I say! Yami of mine, you should really learn to control yourself!" Bakura reprimanded him. Yami Bakura sighed then brought Tristan back. Kaiba was trying very hard not to burst out laughing.  
  
"Okay, Yami Bakura. I'm gonna give you 'til three! Okay? Then we are going to leave."  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"  
  
"ONE!"  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOO!"  
  
"TWO!"  
  
"NOOOOOO! NOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
"THREE!"  
  
On three Joey, Bakura, and Tristan jumped on Yami Bakura, and flattened him to the ground. Kaiba pulled a long piece of string out of his pocket and proceeded to tie him up. Yami Bakura was yelling at them, and sending anything he could to the Shadow Realm. They finally got him tied up and began dragging him toward the car. He was shouting all the way.  
  
"LARA! I'LL COME BACK FOR YOU, MY LOVE! I'LL NEVER LEAVE YOU!" He began sobbing. Joey glanced at him with horror, and Kaiba was laughing again. They finally got him into the car, still tied up, and took his pistols from him. Joey threw them into a dumpster, and they began their drive.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
pm: There you have it! Another amazing chapter of roadtrip! Heh.. its kind shorter than I'd hoped, but if I forgot anything I was supposed to put in, sorry Calcifer! ^_^; Once again, we remind you, pleaseplease review. Just because we haven't updated in a really long time doesn't mean that we died, and thus you should stop reviewing. We love your reviews! We do! *glomps the reviews* 


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